Diary of a Bisexual Collegiette

You know the cute guy in your English class? The one with the perfect hair and the extra pencil when you need one? I think we are all extremely familiar with the happy, almost aching feeling of having a crush. But some of us, who have had the crush on the boy in English class, also might have had a crush on that girl always studying in the Union with her headphones on, cutely lip-syncing to her favorite songs. Bisexual (bi) is the “B” in LGBTQA and it means having romantic and/or physical attraction to both males and females. Being bisexual and being in college, I have come across quite a few questions from my fellow collegiettes. Below are some of the things to know to make bisexuality less of just the elusive “B” in LGBT.

Being bi does not mean you are confused.

Of course, trying to figure out your sexual orientation can be a bit a whirlwind sometimes. And that is completely okay. But being bisexual does not automatically mean that you are just biding your time before you can decide whether to wear a gay pride shirt or not. Being bi means that both boys and girls are completely capable of giving you butterflies, and often being totally confident of that fact.

Bisexuality can often be an “invisible” sexual orientation.

The perception of your sexual orientation often has to do with the gender of the person who takes you on dates to the Alamo Drafthouse on the weekends, or holds your hand on the way to your Geology class. If a bi girl is dating a girl, she is often seen as a lesbian unless you know her well enough to know that she is bi or she tells you that he is bi. The same goes for when she dates a guy and is assumed to be straight.

Being bi does not mean that you aren’t monogamous.

Many bisexuals are both romantically and sexually monogamous. Some people are reluctant to date bisexuals because they feel like there is more competition and, therefore, more of a chance of cheating. But in most cases, bisexuals are just as monogamous as their gay and straight friends. Being bi does not mean that you like everyone; it just means that your Christmas gift shopping for your significant other could involve finding either the perfect cologne or prettiest perfume.

There is not one “right” way to be bisexual.

It is important to know that you do not have to follow a set list of rules in order to call yourself bi. It is okay to be more attracted to one sex than another. You do not have to “prove” your sexuality by acting on it, and you should not ask others to do so. As college students, we have the joy of facing a lot of eye-opening experiences, like having our first “grown-up” jobs and having to find a way to say no to the would-be third trip to Einstein Bros in the same week. One of the most important parts of our lives right now is figuring out who we are when it comes to loving and relating to other people. If bisexual describes you or some of your fellow collegiettes, now is the time to understand and celebrate it!    

There are many places you can go to find out more about bisexuality. The Gender and Sexuality Center in the SAC here on campus has lots of interesting information about LGBTQA and women’s issues. It is also home to some sweet employees who are around to answer your questions when you need a break from studying or just want to make a few new friends!   

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