[Slight spoilers. Viewer discretion advised.]
In early February, I watched “Past Lives” for the first time. This contemplative Oscar nominee is about Nora (Greta Lee), who immigrates from Korea to America as a girl. Once in adulthood, she’s forced to reconcile her life’s duality when she reunites with her childhood sweetheart from Korea.
“Past Lives” is a bit controversial. One person in the audience was adamant against the growing relationship between Nora and Arthur (John Magaro), her white American friend. They even yelled out “Eww!” which made the whole theater burst into laughter. I know other people who felt disappointed with how the movie ended, not quite in happily ever after.
I, on the other hand, was pretty satisfied. By some magic of director Celine Song, each character’s intentions and actions touched me in a way I could understand. I thought each of their decisions had a realistic rationale behind it – even the crueler or more unfair ones. Some people might think Nora and Hae-sung deserve to be together, but I don’t think their fates were tied in that way.
For one, the love they shared wasn’t suitable for marriage or even just friendship and cohabitation. It was less romantic and more of a sibling-esque best-friend synergy. Honestly, it’s hard to pinpoint their relationship because Nora knows that Hae-sung (Teo Yoo) likes a version of herself from her past – someone who no longer exists. They don’t like each other for who they are; they like each other for who they once were.
With a marriage or something deeply cohesive, I think the two people have to feel similarly about each other. With Nora and Hae-sung, there’s disconnect. So when he took that taxi away, I felt sympathetic but I also felt it was a good decision. A justified one, to be sure.
Not to mention, Nora thinks that Hae-sung has these traditional Korean values and is just too Korean for her. If they did end up together, those cross-cultural conflicts and value differences might is impossible to reconcile, especially since she is so independent and self-sufficient. Even though Arthur’s by her side, I feel like she is deeply and powerfully her own person. Marriage is more than just love; knowing that, I think Nora and Arthur are amazingly compatible.
You may disagree with me and think that everyone ended up with the wrong person in this film. I stand by my words, though. The pathway this movie navigated was so well-attuned to the human condition. Even though Nora, Hae-sung and Arthur may have regrets, they made choices out of empathy and strength, so they’re living life in the best way they can.