Close Your Eyes When You Look at Me!

It’s that time of year where I have to decide if it’s a comfortable enough temperature to start caring about my appearance again. I sincerely tried that first week of school, but the good Lord would not allow my makeup to stay on my face no matter how much primer I used or how much setter I sprayed. Even riding on an air-conditioned bus, it would slide down my face.

 

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Losing the makeup was the first step. After that, I stopped wearing contacts. I have terribly dry eyes, but for some reason, the humidity doesn’t seem to help moisten them despite EVERYWHERE else on my body being moist (including my eyelids; you guys are right next door to one another)! My contacts go straight SpongeBob SquarePants on me all the time, but even though every bit of me was smelly, sticky, or sopping wet, my eyes remained dry as Texas Toast without any gravy! Now I’m hungry...

 

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Well it looks like we’ve gotten our first “cold front” of the year… it’s fall, ya’ll (not yawl –it’s just not as cute)! That means I no longer have any valid excuse for my disastrous hair, lack of makeup, or the yoga pants that have been worn possibly 17 days in a row. Definitely not 18 days though; I do have my standards.

 

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Honestly, I grew up not really caring too much about how I look. My family’s socio-economic status for most of my life was not so great and my mom ended up cutting my hair (a lot). Remember how you would get mad and cut your Barbie doll’s hair up and it would look ultra-ratchet? Well, that was my hair 80% of the time. Although, one time my mom thought it would be cool to curl my hair and then give me a mullet right before picture day. You can legit see I had been crying before I had to take the pictures and I DO NOT embarrass easily (hi, I told you guys about my unibrow; more stories to come) but this was too much even for me.  Below isn’t a picture of me, but it was pretty damn close. I worked to destroy as much evidence of that photo as possible. It was really, really bad. Really.

 

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Anyway, I certainly look better with makeup on than without, but I am definitely challenged in that regard nevertheless. I can watch YouTube video after YouTube video and still look like RuPaul. Not that RuPaul isn’t fabulous, but I just don’t have that kinda bone structure, okay? Nor do I have the hair to go with such a brave style of makeup.

 

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Circling back to the beginning of this article… I had to take gladly took my husband to the airport for a business trip around 4 in the morning. I was so excited as it was cool enough for me to wear a sweatshirt (72 degrees Farenheit, for those wondering). Now I know you Northerners are going to want to hate on this Native Texas girl, but the coziness of a sweatshirt cannot be beat! That’s a fact.

 

But I guess that means if I think it’s cool enough for me to wear a sweatshirt, it’s cool enough for me to put a little bit more effort into my appearance. Sigh. Lazy girl problems, am I right?

 

Actually, it’s almost October! I can still look crazy and just tell people I’m really into the 31 Days of Halloween on Family Channel (aka Freeform… I’m not ready to let go)!

 

PS – This article is just really me saying I need a makeover, so hook (see what I did there) a girl up ya’ll!