I knew the second that we decided to go to different colleges that things would no longer be the same. We used to be inseparable, couldn’t go a day without talking. We had the same class schedules and would make a one person job a two person job. She’d be my go-to person for everything, even the smallest most irrelevant things.
Our friendship died slowly. It all began when the pandemic hit, no longer allowing us to see each other. Yet when we finally got to go out and hang again, it didn’t feel the same. Was it us? Or was it just me? I had become such an introvert from the one-year lockdown that talking to anyone just felt out of the ordinary. Then again, that was just the first time of our reunion. We hung out a few times after that, even went to prom together. We were both so excited to be going off to college, told ourselves that we were only 30 minutes away from each other so it wouldn’t be that bad. That was a lie.
The first few months we both had no friends at our own colleges so we’d literally text and call each other every day. She then met some girl on Bumble and they clicked. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for her. That one friend turned into a friend group and she was no longer alone, now I just had to find my people. I wasn’t bothered that she had friends who weren’t me, but it hurt when I found out she was in Austin, less than five minutes away from me, and she never bothered to tell me. She did this multiple times, spending her weekend partying near me but never inviting me. But the breaking point came when I saw that she was a minute away from apartment, looking for a party in West Campus, and when I texted her saying, “You’re in Austin?” she replied asking if I knew any frat parties going on. The enragement and betrayal inside of me was too much, I knew I had lost her then and there.
I decided to go ghost on her because I had felt so betrayed and no longer felt like the friendship we once had was there. The worst part of it all is I didn’t want it to be the end. It was so hard to be scrolling on TikTok and see something only she would understand and not being able to send it to her. For something to be happening in my life or just thinking of a thought that I’d want to tell her and not being able to text her or call. I liked having her as my bestie, even if I didn’t see her that often, we’d still be connected through a screen. Finally after two weeks, I broke. I called her and explained it all to her and we fixed the problem that she didn’t even know existed.
We both know that if either of us got over our fear of driving we could have seen each other much more often. Her life is now in San Marcos and even if it comes down to seeing her once a year, I know we will never fall out of touch with each other. Random FaceTime calls to check in and daily texts and snaps is all we need; as long as we both keep in contact with each other, I know there is no way I am losing my forever bestie. She is still my go-to person for it all (besides my boyfriend who has officially knocked her down to #2 but I’m sure she understands).
Sometimes when people grow, they grow apart; and if that is to become the case with us, I will gladly be watching her life through pictures, cheering on everything she does.