In November of 2021, I sat on the phone with my best friend as she shared with me her decision to delete social media off her phone. She explained how incredible she felt and how much time she had, while I found myself a little out of sorts and worried about my future. It was clear to me that there could only be one answer to my problems: I had to delete it all.
For all of December 2021 and January 2022, I went through a social media detox. I was sober. It was my very own version of dry January. I had no social platforms on my phone, and I only contacted people through texts or calls. I took photos and videos with the regular camera instead of Snapchat, and I shared them with no one. For the first time in almost 10 years, I was experiencing life without the internet, and what a different world it was.
My old relationship with social media
I’ve always thought very highly of my relationship with social media. Maybe it was my pride or my ego, but if you asked me how I treated social media 5 months ago, I probably would have told you: perfectly. I had it down to a science. But I was lying to you, and myself.
I would’ve said I only go on social media when I have nothing else to do. I would’ve explained that I don’t care what I post, it’s just for fun. When in reality, I was on social media ALL the time. I was thinking about other people ALL the time. It was only until I couldn’t turn on my phone and go straight to Instagram or find fast content to think about anyone but myself that I realized just how much social media controlled me.
My sober experience
Without social media, I found myself rediscovering who I was. I finally had the free time to sort through my thoughts without the influence of others. I picked up reading again, which I haven’t done since middle school, coincidentally when social media was invented. I found myself having in-depth conversations with people where I didn’t fidget with my phone, but instead, I noticed when they did.
It was incredibly interesting to observe how the world uses social media from an outsider’s perspective. Because it was invented when I was so young, I feel like I was one of the first people to really engage with apps like Instagram and Snapchat. Age groups like my parents sat and watched us all dive headfirst into this online pool, while I was eager to get swimming. It wasn’t until December that I decided to climb out and see it all for myself.
I have to be honest, being social media sober was incredible for my mental health. It felt like the world slowed down in a sense. I now had time to sit and think, to read, to go for a walk outside. I replaced social media with things that seemed so simple, yet I wasn’t finding the time to do them before. I guess they’re our basic needs, but really, I think they’re essential. I think they’re what it takes for us to come together. To celebrate our differences instead of chastising them. When there’s no massive platform for comparison, it isn’t a massive issue.
According to McLean Hospital, social media platforms are “…are designed to be addictive and are associated with anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments.” We assume that these online worlds are reassuring, with the ability to like and share and comment on people’s posts. But that reassurance becomes addictive and turns into a game of how can I get more?
What I learned
The truth is, I’m torn when it comes to social media. I think for an artist, it’s an incredible place to promote their work. For a family, it’s an incredible place to stay in touch. I think there are a lot of benefits to social media, if only it were so simple. In the world of celebrities and influencers and instant gratification, an app like Instagram is never going to be simple. If it were just a place for self-expression, creativity, and communication, it would be beautiful. It’s the comparison and the competition that make it complicated.
I reinstalled almost every app back onto my phone, but I kept them removed from my home screen. By doing this, I now have to actively search for each app if I want to use it and go through the thought process of how it will be valuable to my time? I have to decide every time I go to Instagram, do I really wanna do this?
I like it better this way. I like not seeing the apps every time I open my phone. I like not thinking about them. I like having free time and feeling productive. This journey helped me re-evaluate what the platforms mean to me and how they contribute to my life. I encourage you all to try it, to spend time away from socials. Don’t get me wrong, I know how hard that is, so maybe just start slow, delete them from your home screen. This way, at least you have to make yourself think before you scroll.
(I would also encourage you to just delete TikTok altogether, but that’s a story for another day.)