It’s no surprise that going through a breakup is extremely painful. It’s losing a loved one and a friend all in one. There are many emotions we can feel during a breakup: hurt, betrayed, upset, angry, but one thing not many people talk about is the feeling of hopelessness. Knowing that what’s done is done and there’s nothing you can do about it, you just have to wait for time to work its magic. There aren’t many things that can make that heartbreak disappear, but something that helps is doing something when you feel there’s nothing you can do. Feeling powerless during a breakup is common, but something you can do is find things and ways to take up your time and put that powerful energy somewhere else.
Work on Your Career
Something that’s given me so much passion throughout the past year, especially while I’m going through a hard time, is focusing on my career. Though as college students, our careers may seem far away, they’re closer than we think. Instead of this being a scary thing, use that feeling of powerlessness and be, for lack of words, the boss bitch you are. Figuring out your purpose in life and what you want to do in the future is a freeing experience and something that’s very exciting. There are endless possibilities and amounts of research you can do to find amazing opportunities, and it starts with some clicks on a keyboard.Â
Work With Your HandsÂ
Working with your hands can mean numerous different things, such as art, engineering, movement, and more! When you take time to make something tangible you’re proud of, it not only takes your mind off things, but allows you to connect with yourself on a deeper level. While TikTok scrolling and binging TV is comforting, in the end, you are still left feeling a bit empty. Having work that you’re passionate about and proud of makes you feel so good and fulfilled.Â
Be With Friends and FamilyÂ
A main thing that has truly helped me while going through a breakup is surrounding myself with the ones I love and who love me. Though in the first few days I wanted to sulk and be alone, finally opening myself up to my friends and family again helped tremendously. Even though going through a breakup is one of the hardest things, how lucky am I to have such amazing friends and family to be by my side through it all. Adapting this mindset and having my loved ones to rant, laugh, and talk with reminds me that I’m far from alone.Â
Travel
This one is more optional as it can be hard for different reasons, such as money, time, and planning. If you are able to, taking a trip to relax and find peace is such a helpful thing. Traveling to new places, even if it’s somewhere new that is 20 minutes away, can be effective because it forces you to change your perspective and focus on all the amazing things that are in front of you.Â
Treat Yourself
Treating yourself may sound a bit cringe, but trust me, it is so important. Treating yourself doesn’t have to be a designer bag, but a cup of ice cream or an extra-long bath. You deserve to feel beautiful inside and out, and spending some extra time to focus on your needs and wants is essential for this. Whether it’s a new dress or just an extra nap, you deserve to feel special because you are.Â
Breakups are never easy, but these are some tools that helped me and continue to help heal day by day. Remember that pain doesn’t last forever, and healing isn’t linear. You will be okay and come out stronger than ever.