Regulating emotions is not the strongest suit for everyone. It is a skill that is learned and not everyone may have grown up in a safe environment where expressing emotions is normalized. As someone who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and grew up in a household where both parents did not teach self regulation skills, I felt the need to raise my voice to be understood. I have always said if you want to receive help, you will get better but you have to put in that effort. Just try to find different coping skills that may or may not have worked for you; the point is for individuals to try and not give up easily. In my case being on medication on the lowest dosage has honestly helped me, but for myself the goal is at some point to never have to use medication. In order for that to happen, I need to ensure that I’m finding coping skills that will help me: regulating my emotions by meditating, or fidgeting with a toy, and if possible if there is any ice or cold water around I will put that on my face or chest to shock my brain into focusing on something else. This can be extremely helpful for anyone who also has panic attacks. Sometimes the little things such as having an iced coffee can help me. I personally try to have one every single day as my motivation. Regardless if it’s going out to my local Starbucks or if it’s saving money and making myself a cup of coffee or Matcha at home with cute plastic cups, it has honestly made a positive impact on my mental health. I feel like I have a sensory issue with certain things. For example some fidgeting toys will make me feel a certain way and they will not help. It will make my anger increase. A fidgeting toy that I personally love the most is a $2 glitter chill cube from Hobby Lobby. I love the way this feels and how I can squeeze it at any point. I have learned to not be ashamed if I need to use it in public because it is for my benefit, not for others. Now that college is in session, I personally have loved using fidgeting pens from a brand on TikTok, because they are silent fidgeting pens. I can just play with the top part because it is made for those who need to focus on something other than their anxiety during class, but also being able to take notes at the same time so it does not just depend on what doesn’t work. Lastly, I love using this fidgeting ring because I can just take it off and play with it, or I can have it on my ring finger and also be able to play with it during class or in other public settings that will ease my anxiety. There’s so many different ways to figure out what your triggers are and how to calm your nervous system down. Everyone works differently, but the point is to make that effort and do something for yourself every single day because we all have at least five minutes if we have time to go to the bathroom. We have time to decompress.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TCNJ chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.