(A dedication to my sisters who I miss very much)
I have always been the baby in my family. I have two sisters. One is strong-willed, smart, and caring. The other is opinionated, witty, and hilarious. My whole life, I have looked up to them. I wanted to fit in, whether this was hoping we’d play Barbies (I didn’t mind which doll I got, just as long as I got to play) or turning off Barney at the age of 3 as they walked in from school so I wasn’t embarrassed. Nickelodeon was the only cool station to watch.
I wanted to be just like them—play the sports they played, dress the way they dressed, listen to the same music, and have the same friends. As time went on, I began to grow, as all little girls do. This time, I was forming new interests, having different experiences, and turning into a completely different person. How could this be, when I tried so hard to be just like them?Â
As some may know, older sisters are not the nicest when you’re different. In my teenage years, they’d tell me what not to wear, what not to post, what I can and can’t say (I thank the universe every day). Although, teenage girls aren’t too easy to get through. Especially someone like me, who is very stubborn. 14-year-olds think they know everything, and I did not, which angered me every day. I was pretty bitter and cold to a family who only wanted what was best for me.Â
I remember when my oldest sister went off to college. My other sister could not stop crying. I was puzzled. I’m still here though? How could she be this upset? Sure, I wasn’t the best representation of a good sister, but I could try. So, I did. My middle sister and I became best friends. I told her everything, the good and the bad. It was relieving to look at her as a mentor rather than someone who was constantly trying to get a rise out of me. Â
Within a blink of an eye, my other sister was off. I finally felt how she felt when my oldest sister left. I was alone. All the fights, tears, and embarrassments did not matter anymore because I didn’t have them to even do that with anymore. Going through high school without them at home were some of the toughest times I had to go through. Growing into my body, being in an extremely toxic relationship, dealing with fake friends.
Luckily, I remembered everything they had taught me throughout the years of them being home. Be kind to everyone, hold your head up high, and get good grades. Now that I’m in college, it has paid off far more than that cranky 13-year-old would ever have known.Â
Slowly, I was becoming the person I had always wanted to be. The best mix of both of them with a little bit more fire (those years of bullying had to pay off for something, didn’t they?). They always say a diamond is a girl’s best friend, but diamonds don’t give advice, pick you up when you’re falling, or let you have the last slice of pizza. My sisters are my diamonds, and I am eternally grateful.
(Oh, and did I mention? We also have a brother… poor kid).