Why finding friends in college is harder than expected.
College is a period of significant transition. You get a new house, new coursework, and suddenly you are in the midst of thousands of individuals, yet it still feels somewhat quiet. Everyone assures you that you will meet your people, but no one really tells you how or when that will happen.
Making friends in college does not always work overnight. Everybody is busy, schedules differ and not every social interaction develops into friendship, and that’s okay. It does not always mean that something is wrong, it only means you are adjusting.
A few not-so-obvious things that worked for me:
1. Ask someone to walk with you after class.
This is simple, yet walking and talking is more casual than sitting face to face. It is a low-pressure method of getting to know someone.
2. Limit it to one or two people you know.
Instead of trying to meet each person in a group, try getting to know someone you have met on more than one occasion. This could be a classmate, someone from your dorm or someone you have eaten with.
3. Stick around a little longer.
After class or club meetings, don’t be so quick to dash off. Hanging around gives other people a chance to approach you and start a conversation or vice versa.
4. Haunt campus spots like you would a neighborhood cafe.
Go to the same spot on a regular basis, like a lounge or study area. Seeing the same faces over and over makes everyone more comfortable, and eventually, you will start to know people and they will know you.
It is not a matter of being popular or extroverted to make friends in college. It is a matter of being open, being consistent and giving small moments the opportunity to evolve. The bonds will follow in time.