Here at Texas A&M University, people talk about the buildings they enjoy finishing homework or eating food in. But have they ever considered what those buildings would be if they WERE the food? Here is a list of what ten TAMU buildings would be if they were fruits/vegetables. This list is definitive, by the way… sorry, I don’t make the rules.
1. Memorial Student Center: Dragon Fruit
Everyone knows what this fruit is, but it isn’t something you find in every kitchen. Eating it makes you feel special. Cheers for dragon fruit!
2. Academic Building: Apple
Pictures of this fruit are everywhere in logos, paintings, etc. Chances are if you ask someone to make a list of fruits, putting this down will be the first thing they do after asking you why you wanted them to make a list of fruits. Sure, it looks a bit basic, but it’s aesthetically pleasing and tastes great. What more could you ask for?
3. Sterling C. Evans Library & Annex: Strawberry
Ah, another classic. This is one of the first fruits people eat after they get old enough to ingest anything that isn’t liquid mush. This fruit normally looks vibrant and red… but it also looks like something crawled into a plastic container and died whenever it’s expired, so you have to be careful.
4. Buildings on West Campus: Blackberry, Raspberry, Black Raspberry, etc.
These are like strawberries, but fancier. You know there’s a difference between each one, but if you’re not already buying them it really doesn’t matter to you. Maybe you’ll try them all when you’re bored and wanting to explore.
5. Jack K. Williams Administration Building: Cucumber
This vegetable tastes nice, but it’s also 90% water. You’re sure it exists for a reason, but you don’t care to find out. That won’t stop you from putting it in all your food pictures for the aesthetic, though.
6. Heldenfels Hall: Asparagus
You may think this vegetable looks bad, but it tastes much worse. Countless children have cried while being forced to eat it, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… right?
7. Student Computing Center: Lettuce
Most people have no choice but to eat this if they want a burger. But if this is the only vegetable they’ve eaten in a while, chances are life is really in the gutter for them. If you ever notice that your friend has eaten nothing but this vegetable for days, pull them aside to give them a nice, warm hug even after they insist they’re “fine”.
8. Sanders Corps of Cadets Center: Papaya
There are two types of female students at TAMU: The first type loves papayas because they’re healthy. They use them in smoothies, snacks, exfoliants, serums for split ends, home remedies for nausea relief, and stalk all the papayas they meet on Instagram; give or take though — it’s kind of a spectrum. And then there’s the type who thinks papayas smell bad and wouldn’t touch one with a 12-foot pole.
9. Texas A&M Hotel and Conference Center: Densuke Watermelon
You’re not entirely sure why you chose buying this rare and expensive melon over paying rent. But now that your family is angry and your friends keep teasing you for it, you just have to calm everyone down and move on to the next mistake… I mean, investment. Maybe you can sell some of it and actually get something out of the classes, work shifts, and meetings you skipped while you were finding a place that sells these and traveling there.
10. Zachry Engineering Education Complex: Avocado
This vegetable skyrocketed in popularity out of nowhere, and now everyone wants to put it on their toast. You can’t imagine how much more expensive it made your bill when you agreed to add it to the meal as a side… but why talk about that now? We’re just trying to survive here, so eat your food and stop asking silly questions.
Author’s Note: This article was made in good humor. Anything offensive was not meant to be taken seriously.