As the holidays approach, grieving my late mother becomes at the very top of my emotional to-do list – whether I want it to or not. Watching young girls stroll through the mall with their mothers, arms full of shopping bags and laughter, always stirs up a familiar ache. Thanksgiving and Christmas, once filled with joy and warmth, now carry a quiet heaviness. While I’m grateful for the family I still have, there’s an undeniable emptiness in knowing I’ll never share another holiday with my mom.
It may sound grim and depressing. This is the harsh reality that millions of people experience every holiday season. Whenever November rolls around, I notice an increase in people taking to social media to express their feelings of grief through heartfelt posts and captions. In a world so focused on achieving perfection, it is comforting to witness these raw and honest moments of grief serving as a tender reminder that love and loss live side by side. Â
In many ways, social media has become a new digital diary for grief. These platforms have provided people with a space to express their grief creatively, while also creating an opportunity for others to acknowledge and share their own grieving journeys. When I scroll across my feed and come across posts sharing old memories and stories with captions like “missing you today” I feel an unspoken solidarity. It is as if the internet – a place often blamed for isolating us – suddenly transforms into a place where grief becomes communal. There is something so comforting and inspiring about watching people love and lose out loud, something I struggled to do for a long time. For years, I was ashamed to talk about my loss, especially online. I hated the attention it drew because it made my mother’s death feel too real. But the truth is, it is real—and it’s devastating. Social media helped me realize that I can’t run from that reality forever. To heal, I have to face it—to honor both the pain and the beauty within it—and allow myself to move forward.
There is a darker side to grieving online that is hard to ignore. At times, I’ve caught myself questioning whether I am posting to honor my mother or to prove that I am still mourning her. This creates an uncomfortable, strange tension within me. It is so hard to want to express emotion in a space that often rewards visibility over vulnerability. Social media can make loss feel like a spectacle, and sometimes it seems like you have to package your pain neatly for it to be understood or acknowledged. Despite this, I have learned that there is no “proper” way to grieve. If sharing weekly posts about someone you’ve lost brings you peace, that’s valid. If staying silent feels right, that’s valid too. What matters most is that you honor your feelings and give yourself grace as you navigate the messy, nonlinear journey of grief.Â
Grief is one of the few things that refuses to follow rules. It comes in waves, often reshaping itself into something stronger or something smaller. Grieving online allows us to keep the ones we have lost alive within the small digital corners of our hearts. There’s something profoundly comforting about witnessing others grieve, too. It’s a quiet reminder that love and loss are a universal language, and that maybe the true beauty behind scrolling through grief is realizing that even in our loneliest moments, we are never truly alone.