The Parts of Self-Care No One Wants to Talk About

Scrolling through #selfcare on Instagram yields predictable results: bubble baths, retail therapy, mani/pedis, and face masks. We all know how to treat ourselves, but what about the difficulties that come along with self-care? It’s not all Lush bath bombs and new shoes, these are the parts of self-care no one wants to talk about:



In the wise words of Queer Eye’s Antoni Porowski, “There’s an emotional intelligence in being able to ask for help when you need it.” Sometimes you cannot accomplish everything on your own. When you are surrounded by people who love you and would be excited to help, ask them for help. Call your mom and get advice from her instead of figuring everything out on your own, ask your bestie to pick up some food on her way over when you don’t have the energy to cook. Pretending that you need to do everything for yourself and by yourself is adding unnecessary stress to your life. Let the people who love you take care of you, that’s what they’re there for!



When you take the time to take care of yourself, you may miss out on events or parties with your friends. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is real, and it can be painful. Remember that you cannot give 100% to your friends if you aren’t at your best. Skipping a party or late night dinner date to take a bubble bath and get extra sleep is relaxing and prepares you to tackle your responsibilities. Your friends will understand, and may even ask to join you! Suggest a girls night in to minimize that feeling of missing out. You get to revitalize your mind and still hang with your besties.



I am the first person to slap on a face mask after I’ve already stressed myself out beyond normal limits; However, reactive self-care doesn't yield long term results. That pint of Halo Top was probably delicious, but now what? Proactive self-care is taking care of your mind, body, and soul every day to prevent those stressful breakdowns. Invest in a quality planner to help you with time management, check in on your mental health, and treat yourself every now and then. Starting to look at self-care as an everyday thing instead of a reaction to a hard day will improve your quality of life more than a bubble bath and wine.