This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TAMU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

This article may contain graphic content. Please read on with caution. Viewer discretion is advised.

It was Friday night, and I had gotten home from class. I put my backpack down and just slumped on my couch.

But I got a text from my mother.

“Call me as soon as you can”.

I assumed she figured out I was using her card for Amazon. I expected the lecture as soon as she picked up. But she asked where I was. She asked if she could talk, and she added my sister to the phone call. I was so impatient, trying to figure out what was going on. I wish I had let her meander on. For five more seconds, I wouldn’t hear the words that had caused a rift in our family, an absence that can’t be soothed.

“Your grandfather died.”

All of a sudden, I was frozen. My sister is also silent.

“How?”

“He killed himself. Your Grandmother found him”.

All I hear is my sister crying.

What response do you say to that? How do you conjure up words? I can’t remember what I said. I just remember telling my roommates so they knew the reason I was quickly packing up, preparing to go home. My roommate brought me Starbucks, in her own way, trying to say that she was there.

I drove 3 hours. I drove all the way home to San Antonio, Texas. The entire time, I can’t help but think about what I did wrong. How could he not have reached out? Talked to me? His daughters? His wife?

He was 76 when he died. He was too impatient for peace; he denied us the luxury of a slow, natural goodbye.

He would never see me graduate from college, meet my husband, see my sister graduate from high school, or see the women we would become.

My Grandma was given a sharp, tragic, and one-sided goodbye.

But my grandfather isn’t alone. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2023, over 49,000 people killed themselves. That’s one suicide every 11 minutes. 12.8 million Americans think about killing themselves.

That’s too large a number. There are too many people suffering from feeling too hopeless to bear living. But there are ways to change that. It’s hard to admit that you need help. It’s hard to vocalize how exactly you’re feeling.

At Texas A&M, there are ways to talk to someone. By going to the Appointment Portal, you can schedule a mental health appointment.

There, you can get individual counseling with a mental health provider. Or, you can have one singular session to talk.

There are group counseling sessions, where you’re paired with people facing the same struggles and are guided by counselors.

If you want to get help from the comfort of your own home, there’s an app called TELUS Health Student Support.

It has 24/7 support with live chat, short-term therapy, and singular sessions.

There’s also the Suicide Hotline. Call 988 to talk to someone.

These are some accessible ways to get the help you may need. It’s always okay to get support. There’s nothing wrong with it. Life is too hard to do it all alone.

My Grandfather was a quiet man. He was intelligent, artistic, and creative in ways I envy. He woke up every morning at 8 am, like clockwork. He introduced me to Harry Potter; I still have his copies from when he gave them to me years ago.

He was a sculptor, and my grandparents’ house is a museum of his different projects.

And he loved The Beatles.

When I get sad, I play ‘Here Comes the Sun’. It reminds me that everything is temporary, including pain, which too passes.

Work Cited

“Suicide Data and Statistics | Suicide Prevention.” CDC, 26 March 2025, https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/data.html. Accessed 22 September 2025.

Here Comes the Sun: Suicide Prevention Month

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