Graduating early is probably the worst thing that has happened to me. As someone who suffers from major FOMO, I get sad when my roommates are hanging out in the living room while I’m studying, missing out on our nightly roommate debrief. The idea of not living with my friends next year and being forced out into the real world genuinely scares me, especially with the societal pressure to have everything planned fresh out of college.
I have no job lined up, nor do I have any internships. I’ve applied to at least ten positions here in College Station, but with so many students competing for the same opportunities, it’s nearly impossible to stand out. I don’t feel prepared to graduate; it feels like I’m being thrown blindfolded into a new environment I have no clue how to navigate.
I’m also exhausted from being asked the question “What are you doing after graduation?” because, honestly, I don’t know. The worst part is the never-ending checklist of things I have to get done before I walk the stage. Planning my Ring Day, scheduling my ring dunk, making sure I’m taking all the right classes, applying for graduation (yes, I know crazy), taking senior pictures, and then actually leaving the college town I’ve called home for the past three years, it’s all overwhelming.
It’s hard to feel ready for a new chapter when I’m not ready to close this one. I fear I’ve developed FOGU: fear of growing up, and letting go of the version of myself that college helped me become.