Spoiler alert: Being able to read at a college level in the fourth grade has done nothing for me in college. Being praised for my intellect at a young age meant that I didn’t feel the need to develop good study habits. And worst of all, when I inevitably hit my “wall” at the start of college, I felt like a failure, or that I wasn’t living up to my “potential”.
Unsurprisingly, I’m not alone. In a research study on gifted and talented students conducted by the University of Connecticut, 5% of the gifted students in the study dropped out of high school. Those who dropped out did so for a variety of reasons, but 35% of the women who dropped out did it because they didn’t like school. And based on my experiences, that doesn’t surprise me at all.
In my middle school gifted program, poor academic performance was actively punished rather than addressed. Every year before winter break, I was excluded from group-wide events and forced to do makeup work in a room alone, while the other kids got to drink hot chocolate, eat candy, and watch Christmas movies. These adults who “specialized” in gifted education never thought to investigate why I wasn’t turning in my homework or why my attendance was so spotty. Instead, they immediately dismissed me as lazy and underachieving. Even at the end of middle school, when I began undergoing treatment for my anxiety and depression, and my academic performance improved, most of my teachers still viewed me in a negative light.
The resources that were available for gifted students only further diminished in my high school. Despite having an IEP on file, I never once met with my gifted coordinator. In fact, virtually no one in my high school did. Despite research proving that gifted kids are more vulnerable to ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression, there was never any instructional support from the school. My high school experience wasn’t defined by spirit week, homecoming, or prom. My high school experience consisted of forged absent notes and doing my homework two periods before it was due. And for every gifted kid from my graduating class that got into an Ivy League school, a dozen more slipped through the cracks.
To conclude, placing children on a pedestal only sets them up for failure. Praising them for their intelligence and their intelligence alone is a disservice to their other passions. And assuming that they’re “smart” enough to figure it out themselves means that there’s a sh*t-ton of young adults out there that don’t know how to ask for help.