I’d argue that the past three years have been some of the most stressful for college students; not just academically, but financially, socially, and mentally due to the pandemic. The uncertainty and rapidly changing times have caused higher rates of burnout and dropouts, that’s for sure. Something I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about in person or on social media is the loss of socialization during your college years, i.e. making friends for life and bonding steadily over a three or four-year period. I’ve seen conversations online of people talking about college-age individuals being robbed of the traditional four-year, in-person college experience, but not specifically how young people’s dating life has been impacted by that.
We live in the age of dating apps and college date nights. No one enjoys the uncertainty of dating – you may enjoy the concept itself, but the pitfalls are intense. For example, as a young woman here are just a few of the worrying thoughts I have about a date: is this man going to kidnap, traffic, or traumatize me? Does he believe in gender equality? Can he keep up with my girl friends making fun of him? And most importantly: will my dog like him? And that’s just what I worry about as a cis, white, asexual woman. I cannot possibly imagine having more worries than this. My point is that it’s difficult to enjoy dating, whether casual or serious, when you are worried about all these things that could go wrong.
Since the pandemic started in my sophomore year of college, the entire dating game at my school has changed. Dating apps have become more common, especially apps like Bumble where female users can control what kinds of people they interact with. I think one of the many reasons dating apps have become a part of the public discourse at my college is because in a time when women feel like we have no control, i.e., the pandemic, the loss of reproductive rights, these apps grant us the illusion of control. You know the world has become crazy when dating apps decide to add a profile feature where you can see the other person’s vaccination status.
Something else happened between the end of my sophomore year and the entirety of my junior year of college: no one really dated on campus. People were meeting virtually, but even though students started to get vaccinated, it was difficult. I think people were reluctant to start seeing someone on campus in case the administration decided to send everyone home for another lockdown. Also, we couldn’t really visit each other’s dorm buildings, so parties became a forgotten pastime. All the normal ways that people would meet were disappearing.
As a result of all this, I felt like my friends and I were missing out on a really crucial time to experience romantic endeavors or learn how to socialize better in general. As someone who is introverted and awkward, I was always told growing up that college would be the safest time to try and meet people. Well, that didn’t really work out. While I’m glad people are pressuring girls less about finding their soulmate in college, there is still that stereotype. I know it arises from the old practice of girls attending college in order to husband hunt, but it’s just not relevant anymore. The pandemic proved that women just don’t have the time, money, or mental energy to waste on finding their soulmates in college. If you do, good for you, but it shouldn’t be something women are expected to do.
