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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Love Yourself Way More than You Love Them

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Stony Brook chapter.

Do me a favor and pick yourself up, move along and, while you’re at it, embrace yourself. I know heartbreak sucks, and you feel like you’ve been kicked down a black hole. You can’t eat or sleep, you shut yourself down and cry along to sad songs while your friends rub your back. But it’s not the end of the world, and it’s never going to be the end of the world. I know some will refuse to listen to that, I know I did while I was wallowing in my own sadness. It’s fine though! Cry if you have to and give yourself time to feel what you need to feel, but at some point, you have to know that enough is enough for you. But here’s a little push:

 

  1. Get into a hobby you’ve been curious about, or get back into the things that you used to love to do but didn’t have time for.

  2. Write out your feelings in a journal or make poetry about it. Paint, write songs, any art form to express what you’re feeling in the moment.

  3. In the world of social media, try to remove yourself from it. I deleted Instagram for a month or so and honestly that worked wonders. It felt liberating. It’s a bit sad to see how obsessed we are with that app and others.

  4. Reconnect with friends that you haven’t seen in forever, and make new friends while you’re at it! You never know who will come through and impact your life.

  5. I know many people say that doing something to your hair is drastic, but whatever, if I want a new hairstyle then I’m getting a new hairstyle.

  6. Work out! get healthy! Working out boosts your mood and you’ll feel great! And do it for only YOU. Impress yourself. Push yourself to the limit. (Trust me, I hated working out, but now I can’t stop because I feel so great afterward).

  7. This last one only applies to when you’re ready. Try dating again. At first it may seem like you can’t because you’ll never find someone again, or they won’t compare to the last person you were with. But please believe me, it’s worth it. It’s interesting and fun and even a fresh breath to find someone new. There are so many people in this world, I know someone will leave a smile on your face and keep you blushing for days. It takes time, it takes a connection. Don’t close yourself off from dating because there really are some great people out there.

 

Try what you can. Not everyone is going to be on the same page as the other in terms of moving on, but understand that everything will be fine at the end of the day. Whether you get back to where things are with your ex or not, take a long and good look at yourself, and find the things that you love about yourself. Physically, mentally, anything that will help you focus on yourself because that’s the goal. This goal is important because now you have only yourself to hold and cherish more than anything and anyone else in this world. You have to try to keep yourself intact and push forward. Of course, a good wine night with your friends also is a good way to go!

Julitza Zapata

Stony Brook '18

Julitza is one comic book loving, video game fanatic and makeup enthusiast that's willing to share her stories/experiences and favorite things with everyone. Currently in her final year at Stony Brook she's excited to see where the future will take her and what's in store.