As people dig through their old piles of candy looking for that last Reese’s peanut butter cup and pack up their Halloween decorations, there is a shift in the atmosphere. The smell of pumpkin-spiced-whatever lingers in the air and Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is heard playing faintly on repeat in the distance. The holidays are here. There are many things to love about this time of year; the holiday joy, the decorations, the gifts, the time spent with family. Well, maybe that’s not always true. For some people, spending time with their loved ones eating a holiday dinner or unwrapping gifts can be a wonderful time. But for others, time spent around the dinner table can lead to heated political discussions as you desperately try to bite your tongue and not throw the mashed potatoes across the table at your racist/sexist/homophobic relative.
Problematic relatives are a part of life that we must all deal with. While some of us may be lucky enough to be able to avoid them for most of the year, holidays are the time of that year where we must not only face them, but also embrace them. In college, we’re taught to speak out and use our voice to express what we believe in. Then suddenly, we’re expected to kept our mouth shut and our opinions suppressed in order to enjoy a nice family dinner. But how can we just sit their quietly when someone’s opinions directly harm or hurt us, our beliefs and our identities.
That’s why I say, this is the year we take a stand. We shouldn’t ignore bigotry and hate just because it’s coming from a family member. We shouldn’t allow them to think that it’s tolerated or allowed.
Now I’m not saying to start some all-out argument or fist fight with your auntie at the dinner table, but being an advocate means speaking up even when it may be difficult. The goal isn’t to “win” the argument or prove them wrong but rather to make a statement that you won’t be silenced. And yes, maybe it will cause some tension or problems, but the possibility that you inspired a younger family member to use their voice or think differently than their elders is a major impact that is worth more than any present they’ll receive.