Over the winter break, I went for a job interview in New York City. As I boarded the train I was certain that this interview was going to go off without a hitch. I had spent the last several weeks preparing myself: buying a nice outfit, researching the organization, rehearsing interview questions in my mind, building confidence. As I headed toward Penn Station, the anxiety that had been plaguing me since the beginning of my senior year began to subside. I wasn’t some hopeless wanderer without direction. I wasn’t aimless. I had a plan. I had prospects. I had a future.
If you’re a college senior, you’ve probably had someone ask you, “What are planning to do after you graduate?”. As college flew by, more and more of my friends found their answers to that question. They all had big dreams, bright futures, clear goals, and well thought out plans. I, on the other hand, did not. I knew what I liked and what I hated. I knew what I was good at. But none of my interests or skills translated themselves into a career. So I began to panic.As my anxiety and worry over my future began to dominate my life, I couldn’t help but feel like a failure. College was the place where you were supposed to figure out who you are and what you want. Why couldn’t I do that? Was there something wrong with me? Why was I plagued by indecision? Why did every choice seem like the wrong one? Should I go to Grad School? To study what? Should I go get a job right away? Would anyone even hire me? Will people think I’m a loser? I tried to find myself. I joined clubs, tried new things, visited a career counselor, went for jobs and internships with varying degrees of success. But my future was still a giant question mark and I was running out of time.
So when I found myself on a walking on the streets of lower Manhattan to a job interview that related to one of my many passions, I was certain that my problems were over. But due to some miscommunication and misinformation, my interview was canceled and would not be rescheduled. I walked out of the office devastated. I could feel the bright future I was so certain of only an hour before slipping through my fingers. Feeling defeated, I began the hour long walk back toward Penn with the intention of going back home where I could stew in my anxiety and sadness. But a rumble of thunder made me look skyward and that’s when I saw the Freedom Tower.The Freedom Tower was something I always wanted to see, but none of my friends or family ever wanted to go with me and I was too afraid of the city to travel alone. I figured it was one of those places you dream of seeing, but never actually get to. But now there it was, right in front of me. No longer having anything to do, I bought a ticket for the 9/11 museum and had one of most emotionally profound experiences of my life. If my job interview hadn’t been canceled, I never would have had that experience.
So I still don’t have a concrete plan or a crystal clear view of my future. But that day in the city did teach me something. When God closes a door, he opens a window. Missed opportunities or bumps in the road may seem like the end of the world, but they aren’t. Good things can come from them. There’s always tomorrow. It’ll all be ok. Don’t waste your life worrying about time and don’t try to force yourself into a mold you don’t fit into. The process of learning about yourself doesn’t stop the minute you graduate.You have time. Explore the world. Explore yourself. And most of all, learn to enjoy whatever life throws at you.