I think we have all heard or seeing this line across all of our social media platforms at some point, “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” Now, like you all, the first time I read this, I had this wave of “wokeness” swim all over my body, letting me know that this was the only quote I needed to flourish. It stopped me from punishing myself any further for failed accomplishments, or missed opportunities, because of the good old, it wasn’t meant to be.
What I failed to realize was that this mentality, like many others, was another excuse to be lazy.
Yes, we do not have control over everything that happens, and we should accept things as they come, in order to avoid truly driving ourselves crazy. Nonetheless, if you really want something, a door or anything similar, should not stop you from reaching that which you desire. A door at most is 40-50 pounds; that is by far, way less than what the typical human weighs, so if a “door” does not open for you, you better smash it to the ground and pave your own way.
It is so easy to get used to rejections and “No’s;” trust me I have been there before. You walk around with a fear to even speak up for yourself because you do not want that to stop your “access” to opportunities, or people that may benefit you in many ways. This fear, may it be conscious or not, affects your behaviors and unfortunately, you may be missing out on more things that you can even imagine, due to being afraid of hearing a simple no. It wasn’t until I was speaking to an alumna at an event, that I saw how damaging this type of mentality was. She expressed to me after discussing my fear of rejection, that in life the worst that you can hear is a “no.” The worst that could happen is a two-lettered word, that if anything, asks you to shift your plans to reach what you desire. A word, that if taken with the right mindset, can fuel innovative ways to open the “door” or a need to break down that wall anyway.
There have been many things that I’ve obtained that I have been underqualified for. Interviews, jobs, internships, experiences. Even if I have not met the qualifications, I have worked around the system, and when the door did not open, I made my own key and marched right in there. Have you ever received that dreaded notification that your bank account has been overdrafted and that fee appears loud and clear? For many, that’s the door right there, but for the others who see that as only the beginning, you call your bank and after explaining your situation, they tell you that the fee still applies. Life will always throw obstacles and tiny issues your way, because c’est la vie, so when it throws “doors” your way, love yourself enough to pave the way and push through whatever adversity you’re experiencing. In this instance, that means, asking to talk to another representative or arguing your way through that refund, that allows you to breathe through the day again.
In life, you will always be “underqualified.”
You will always be less than somebody else. We are all born with the natural right of being equal, however, let’s be honest, some people are smarter, funnier, kinder, and prettier than you. Don’t allow yourself, or whichever impediment that the universe throws at you, stop you from getting what you want out of life. Don’t allow a “no” to prevent you from getting the job. Don’t allow a “Bachelor’s Degree + 2 years of experience in the field” stop you from applying. Always push through through those doors because you never know where they’ll take you.