In a world of dating apps, situationships, social media launches, and talking stages, it can feel impossible to find love and romantic relationships. Especially with trends like women collectively deciding to delete dating apps at the beginning of 2025, it can feel like you’ll never meet someone who wants a romantic relationship. Being at a small school and somewhat introverted, I tend not to meet too many new people, which can be inconvenient when looking to develop a dating life. However, maybe all is not lost in the way of love.
As bleak and boring as it can feel to go through life solo, my limited relationship experience has allowed me the space to develop as an individual rather than focusing on who I want to be for other people. I’ve been able to create who I want to be and now rather than searching for someone to accept parts of me I don’t care for, I’m searching for someone to care about the parts of me that I love. Not only that, I’ve also been able to be fully devoted to my academics and extracurriculars without feeling like I’m failing someone for not giving them the attention they deserve. People often say you must love yourself to give love, and it’s true. Even though you can give love regardless, it’s so much more fulfilling to receive love when you wholeheartedly believe what the other person loves about you.
My previous experiences with trying to form romantic connections were full of naïve understandings of what I thought love and relationships looked like from the movies rather than what it truly looks like for adults to be interested in each other. My lack of experience proved to be a difficult thing to overcome because most people had middle and high school relationships, but when I came into college, all I had was an endless list of crushes who did not like me back. Finding your footing in the early relationship experiences can be difficult, and I made a lot of mistakes. But it’s important to remember that it’s your first time experiencing everything you experience, and you deserve the grace and space to figure out what’s going on.
I think especially for me, as someone whose parents were high school sweethearts, a piece of me was broken up that I didn’t find love in the same timeline as my parents. Even though it’s not going to be a story of meeting the love of my life at 17 or even 18 (or 21 probably), it doesn’t mean it’ll be any less nice. Every person is unique and all of our experiences are unique too. Don’t allow yourself to spend too much time worrying about doing things (or not doing them) in a way that other people did. Comparison is the thief of joy and spending so much time thinking about replicating something else forces you away from enjoying the life you are living and making.
So as lonely as this path I’m on (and you might be on too) is, it probably won’t be like this forever. Putting yourself out there helps, but the cliché thing everyone says is “it’ll come when you least expect it” so maybe that is truly real. When we stop expecting, it might just be right around the corner for us to meet the person that will make a difference forever.