When I left my teens I struggled to find different perspectives on how to approach life. I finally found a happy balance and I hope to share these perspectives through quotes; in hopes to inspire others as well.
1. “Nothing resembles selfishness more closely than self-respect.” – George Sand
We are often told not to be selfish but in adapting to that notion we immediately dismiss ourselves. What do I mean by that? I mean that we need to redefine the word selfish as self-respect. We need to pause and begin to respect the amazing selves we are and acknowledge our presence on this earth as a symbol of purpose. A purpose for which we are fully capable of reaching, but will not, if we are steady distracted by irrelevant items. Through this, I learned to spend time with myself and fall in love with every aspect of me. Be selfish with yourself, pay attention to you, you owe it to your amazing self to be respected by you.
2. “Don’t waste your whole lifetime waiting for the perfect life when there’s a perfectly good one within and right in front of you.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru
It is time to be real with ourselves. Let’s talk about the epidemic people in their 20’s have been suffering from lately. Why is it that we feel a strong need to have a relationship or significant other? [Don’t get me wrong if you’re in a relationship right now and you are happy, that’s great!] What I am calling attention to is the need to feel complete with a partner. Listen, you were born butt-naked into this world. You’re not like a sock that is pair. If you were meant to be with someone to be complete, you would have been noticed of that from the beginning. You were already a healthy complete individual when you were born. And you were loved by the people around you from the get go and are still loved. Therefore, looking for someone to make life perfect is a waste of time because in reality the perfect life is sitting right in front of us. Live out that perfect life, if this “love” thing is meant to happen, it will on its own.
3. “Be the love that you are always looking for.” Debasish Mridha
Thought I was done talking about the love bug? Nope! This perspective changed the way I defined love. Certainly, everyone has some sort of idea of what qualities they want in someone. I know what kind of qualities I like in people too. However, I had never stopped to ask myself if I had those qualities. I am a bit shameful to admit that I had set up these expectations for someone else but I did not even possess those qualities myself. Going off of quote #2, I was wasting time waiting, and did not realize that I could make myself and others happy by living through the qualities I wanted in someone else. I have a big heart, I think many of us do, and sharing it with the people we come in contact with, reveals a different side to what love is.
4. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
My mother taught me to always move forward and only look to the past for perspective. It is important to recognize that things happen for a reason. Even crappy moments but regardless keep moving forward. You’re strong and you have come this far, keep going because you have so much more to offer and your journey is not even close to being finished. Even on those days when you feel the most utter defeat. Remind yourself of the roadmap on which you are on and that stormy days are only temporary.
5. “You keep worrying you’re taking up too much space. I wish you’d let yourself be the milky way.” – Andrea Gibson
Pause, would you please do yourself a favor and stop apologizing. There is no such thing as, “I have a stupid question”, “I am sorry to ask”, “I am sorry I am emotional”; furthermore, there is no such thing as not being smart enough or having to adjust the way you do something to comfort someone else. TAKE UP SPACE, speak up when you have something to say, challenge others but also be willing to listen and absorb. I spent way too much time thinking I was not as smart as some individuals in my classes, in the workplace or at meetings. The minute I owned my identity and abilities, I stopped apologizing for the questions I wanted to ask, I stopped excusing my emotions as a weakness and instead owned them as a strength. One time a student in my class decided to set their backpack on the only available chair in class. Even when they saw me walk in, they still did not budge or react. “Would you please move your backpack; I need a seat.” Stares and all, I was there to claim my education. So, start claiming your life because you freaking deserve it.
6. “Oh my gosh, shut up, you’ve been beautiful!” – Victoria Matter
In other words, pause, you have been slaying this whole time. You are beautiful, even on days when you just roll out of bed and get straight into the daily routine. You are still the beautiful you and the qualities you possess were never blurred away with that fancier outfit choice or tube of mascara. Believe me, you are killing it! Own it!
7. “You are the best author of your own future. So, the next time you sit down to write your own story, remember that you are the creator of the best chapters that could ever be written. ” – Catherine Pulsifer
Perhaps I sat too long watching movies with the “happy ending” but I will strongly hold that I do believe it’s possible. You’re probably thinking about the prince and the princess getting married, or whatever, but I am talking about the ending where tears are shed and the war is over. In translation, we are the authors of our futures. Therefore, setting goals for how you want that future to look like will help you keep those goals in focus and give you something to work towards.
8. “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R. Covey
This applies to a large umbrella of topics but most importantly arguments and our encounters with strangers. Changing the mindset to listen and question with genuine curiosity reveals a new side to humanity; otherwise not found. It allows you to appreciate the imperfections of humans. Saving you a lot of time wasted being fixated on useless emotions. Next time try to listen with the intent to be surprised.
9. “Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family.” – Joseph Brodsky
Pick up the phone and call mom, dad, your parent guardian, your partner, whoever it is you love. Cherish them in every aspect you can. I say this from experiences sitting in the emergency room with my father and my mother on multiple occasions. Our loved ones are not made to last forever. Those small moments of bickering on the phone, getting irritated because they call or ask too many questions while you’re away at school, should be minimal to none. Consider all that they have done for you and remember that they are only on this earth for a limited amount of time. A wise woman once said, “I bet you don’t raise your voice at your partner the same way you do your parents.” Cherish your loved ones.
10. “Life is the journey of coming home to ourselves.” ― Lisa Cypers Kamen
Facebook and other social media platforms are great. On the other hand, they are constant reminders of the different routes people are choosing to take in life. Some individuals are parents, others are engaged, others are having beautiful weddings, others are landing new jobs, traveling, etc. It is easy to get lost with comparisons of oneself to others. It may even make us feel as though we are not doing the adult thing right but remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique. There is no right way to do life, otherwise, we would have been provided with an instruction book. The only thing available are suggestions and from there it is all up to you. Do not get side-tracked by looking at someone else’s path in life. Keep your eyes on the road, on your path, on your goals. You got this!