“Just be yourself”, the phrase your mom tells you on your first day of school. “Just be yourself”, something your dad tells you before your first job interview. “ Just be yourself”, the words I worried I would never fully understand.
Growing up, my biggest fear was not fitting in. All I wanted was for everyone to like me, for the “popular kids” to let me hang out with them, to get invited to all of the birthday parties and after-school hangouts. Because of that, I ended up trying way too hard to be someone I’m not, and got even more rejected than I probably would have if I had just been myself.
The world seemed so different as a kid. I thought that the only purpose I had was to make sure other people liked me and make sure I was doing things everyone else was doing. I made myself grow up way too fast and I never just let myself be a kid.
This caused me to have no idea who I truly was by the time I was in high school. The people I surrounded myself with, the things I said, the way I treated people, all did not reflect who I was or even who I wanted to be. All the “popular” kids that I wanted to be like, were just miserable and in turn, I became miserable, too.
When I graduated high school I realized that I needed to find out who I am and who I want to be. I began doing things because I enjoyed them instead of doing them because it was the trendy thing to do. I surrounded myself with people who made me feel good about myself instead of tearing me down. I stopped caring what other people were saying and doing. For the first time in my life, I knew who I was and I liked who I was.
As I continue into my college career, I still have times where I regress into acting a certain way so others will like me. But those moments remind me of someone I no longer want to be. I am kinder, happier, and honestly, cooler when I stop performing and just exist.
So now, when I tell myself “just be yourself,” it doesn’t mean be perfect. It means to be honest. Be kind. Be the version of you that feels the most real, even if that version isn’t for everyone.