I grew up in a very work hard environment. My parents always taught me that the only way to be successful in life is to work my hardest, try my best and do as much as I can with little complaints. I’ve always been an overachiever. I never let my schedule go empty, I always do more than what I am asked and I keep myself busy, even when I don’t have to. This applies to every job I have ever worked. From practicing for seven hours straight a day for debate tournaments, to being the only employee at my job willing to stay late to close, I always do more because I can. I don’t limit myself to what is only asked of me.
So when I recently found out that co-workers at my job filed complaints about how little I worked, I was genuinely so confused. Not only was I dumbfounded by these accusations, I was furious. How do people who don’t show up, always call out, quit when asked more of you and find ways to cut corners complain about the one person who has to clean up everyone else’s mess? I’m not bitter, I’m just confused and it makes me not only question myself and how I come off as a worker, but also makes me question how I should view work ethic in myself and the standards others have of me. But, this mindset isn’t a good one to have. Yes, I can question how I and others view the topic of work ethic. But, I shouldn’t change my view on myself and how I work based on the critiques of others. I haven’t come this far and accomplished what I have because of what people told me to do, I did it by working hard my way. After these complaints, my boss got particularly passive and critiqued how I work. I can take accountability for some things, but after working tirelessly all summer, and committing to showing up everyday, this switch from her truly came as a shock to me. But this made me remember, these are not my friends, these are not my family, my life does not depend on this job and more importantly- this was just a job. This was just a job, just for this summer that I did my best at. Yes, I can take constructive criticism, but that is all I will take because anything further should not matter and should not impact how I feel about myself or how I carry myself.
No matter where external opinions may stem from- a job, a relationship, etc.- only you can define you. You should be the only opinion that matters and that makes an impact on who you are. This is more than a passive work environment and work ethic, it’s about learning to tune out negativity from others.
I’ve had many friendships that turned out badly, where I ultimately realized that those people didn’t have their best interest in me, or didn’t like me for me, but were trying to make me the idea they had of a friendship. We, as people, and the relationships and perspectives we have on each other are not made to fit into molds. We are all individually ourselves, and cannot be interchanged. Opinions on each other shouldn’t change that, and shouldn’t change who we are. No matter who decides to critique your life. Draw. That. Line. If they don’t respect that boundary, make it yourself. Tune out the noise, and continue being the best version of yourself on your own and by your standards.