There are breakups that come with a blown-up argument, a tearful final call, or a mutual exchange of hurt feelings. There are breakups where you can point to a moment and say, That’s when everything changed. But then, there are the quieter ones, the ones that slip through the cracks. The ones without confrontation, closure, or even a clear reason. These are friendship breakups. And while they don’t always get talked about, they’re real, and they matter. And in many ways, they’re the worst kind.
Sometimes, a friendship that once felt constant – daily texts, spontaneous hangouts, shared laughs over inside jokes – begins to drift. Not because anyone did something wrong, but because life and shared interests shift as they often do, as happens with most of us.
Maybe you see someone pop up in a Snapchat memory, or buried in a tagged group photo on Instagram, and it takes you a second to remember that you haven’t spoken in years. Even your parents still ask, Hey, how’s [their name] doing? And you shrug, trying not to let it sting when you have to say, I’m not really sure.
This kind of ‘breakup’ doesn’t come with fireworks. It’s not loud or dramatic, but gradual. And while that makes it harder to define, it doesn’t make it any less valid. There’s no handbook for what to do when someone who once knew you so deeply becomes a distant memory.
But maybe that’s just part of growing up. Because the truth is, growing up often means growing apart. Not because of bitterness, but because people change. Priorities shift. Paths diverge, all of which is okay.
Recently, I have accepted that some friendships were never meant to last forever, although it took me a long time to realize it. Either they meant to teach me something, support me for a time, or bring joy during a certain chapter of my life. While it can be bittersweet to let go of someone who was either ‘your person’ or a reliable friendly presence, it’s also a sign of emotional growth to acknowledge that not all connections are meant to last a lifetime. Some are meant to be meaningful for a moment.
All of this to say, it is perfectly normal and human to mourn the loss. Let yourself feel whatever you need to, either through journaling, a long walk, or even just a deep breath of acceptance. But also remember: there’s beauty in that discomfort. Every connection we make over the course and stages of our lives shapes who we are today! Small habits in your routine may have been formed by the strength of such relationships.
So, if you’re going through one of those quiet friendship breakups, you’re not alone. And more importantly – you’ll be okay. Even though it sounds cheesy, every ending comes with the possibility of new beginnings, new friendships, and new types of memories that you’ll be missing out on if you don’t show everyone the friendship they’re missing with you!