This is going to be my last Her Campus article as an undergraduate at the University of St Andrews – sad, I know! However, it is also a bittersweet fact, leading me to write one last reflection piece. Yet, this is going to be no ordinary four-year reflection but one centered around my style – how it grew with me over the past four years, reflecting the joys, regrets, and momentous occasions shaping me into the woman I am today. Hopefully, by taking a stroll down memory lane with me, you may view your own closet with profound sentimentality as well. So, without further ado, here goes:
First Year
The impact of COVID-19 on the Class of 2025’s first year at the University of St Andrews is a faded memory I believe we collectively forget about. Nevertheless, when looking back on 2021-2 through my camera roll, I understand why. With limited contact throughout the year, the majority of our days were spent in halls or at smaller, masked events. It is no wonder that every day felt more or less the same when, at least in my case, I resorted to athleisure and lounge sets the majority of the time. However, I also can’t blame COVID-19 completely. I stuck to my Californian comfort zone of Lulu Lemon leggings and crop tops, especially as someone coming out of an all-girls high school, which required me to wear a uniform. I admit I had no style at 18 because for me, it was new and daunting. Yet, with St Andrews’ strong thrifting culture, I was able to experiment sustainably and without breaking the bank. Some choices were certainly thrifting fails, others, however, became staples I still wear today. One such item is a reddish-pink crochet bag I found with my current flatmate on our first trip together in Seville. When I put it on today as a pop of color, memories of our trip and first year at John Burnet Hall come flooding back. I am reminded of a fresher’s excitement and the foundational experiences I carry with me since then.
Second
Second year taught me that personal growth sometimes requires taking a step backward before you can make a significant stride forward. Indeed, my sense of style was no exception to this lesson. This was the case because it wasn’t my style at all, but for someone else – someone who, quite frankly, wanted me for themselves and dimmed my light. I see this clearly now, looking back on the limited photos I took of myself throughout 2022-3. I stuck to safe, unassuming colors, turtlenecks, and baggy clothes. I wore brands I never would have picked for myself and “got into” UK street style. Silver jewelry dulled me out, and everything I wore seemed off in these photos. Thus, I’m not necessarily saying you should avoid these styles (I am still an avid turtleneck fan), but when my eyes and smile appear less sprightly than usual, you know something is wrong. It is, in fact, through writing this article and looking back on these photos now that I see clearly the correlation between one’s maintenance of relationships and style, each being telling factors of the other. Therefore, I do not feel sorry for the second year version of myself but regard her with grace and gratitude, understanding the importance of holding onto your personal style and values. For when you do, the right people are sure to come around. Forcing yourself to fit a certain mold is never a sign for a healthy, mutual, and loving relationship.
Third
Indeed, my style developed mostly in third year. Holding close to family members and friends who valued my individuality, as well as branching out by joining various societies (shout out to Her Campus), I began to feel like myself again. In turn, my outfits began to reflect the prioritization of my education and the core relationships that brought me up (not down). Anyone will tell you I have a few staples: trench coats, statement pieces, and a pop of color. I did not come to most of these style choices alone, however. Most are, in fact, inspired by the friends and family I stuck close to, some even being straight from my mom’s wardrobe! Therefore, no longer did outfits feel antithetical to my personality, but instead, they visualized the maturity and confidence that came with the jump to honours.
Fourth
This year, not only did I hold onto such inspiration, but I also made wardrobe statements on my own – one being a pair of red cowgirl boots I dreamt of having ever since I was a little girl. Thus, the boots hold special memories, especially since my dad gifted them for my 21st birthday. Deeper than that, however, they also symbolize my emotional state and personal growth leading to the final months of my undergraduate experience. This academic year, I focused on healing my inner child, balancing academic rigor with self-care. As I reach its final months, I think about how if I were to meet my younger self in my red cowgirl boots, she would be proud. I reignited my love for figure skating, learned how to cook comfort meals from home, and prioritized forgiving self-talk. Ultimately, that’s the goal in life, isn’t it: to authentically strive for greatness and healing? There is much to be grateful for: I have clothes on my back, I am headed to a world-renowned institution for postgraduate study, and I am determined to “make the world feel as loved” as my loved ones made me.Â
Call me a sentimentalist, but I cannot help but draw meaning out of the past four years at St Andrews. Yet, it took this final piece for Her Campus to make me realize my personal style was an outward reflection of the personal growth within. This makes me even more excited for what I’ll wear next at graduation celebrations and beyond. It’s easy to correlate one’s style with either superficiality or functionality, but I’ve learned it holds much deeper meaning. Thus, I encourage you to take a deeper look at your own closet, you might be surprised to learn more about yourself than you expect!