6 Pieces of Advice I Actually Live By

You’ve probably heard it before: uni is the time that you become an adult; this is when you’re meant to struggle. As St Andreans, we are privileged to be in such a supportive, great community, but it’s still a university, and we still face challenges. Almost every day, I wish my family could be here to give me new advice or to keep me calm in moments of high stress.

While the skies have thankfully started to turn blue and the rain has gradually ceased, I’ve still found this semester really hard, and I know I’m not the only one. But these pieces of advice that I’ve collected over time, from sources as broad as family, TV, or Pinterest, have kept me going in both the little and big moments, and I hope they can help you too!

Advice #1: Another’s success is not your loss

The first piece of advice is not something I necessarily learned from someone, but something I learned from someone and has now become the advice I repeat to myself and others the most.

I once had a friend who had to one-up every single thing I’d say or do (and she did this to others too). If you said you got a good grade on a test, she had to publicly explain all the tasks she was doing that prevented her from achieving that same score. But then she’d assure you she understood the content better than anyone, it was just so easy she gave up. I know she’s been competitive with other friends about professional achievements and even pants size. When she and I were closer, I know I started acting this way too, but with age, I’ve realized how unhealthy this jealous behaviour is.

Now, I celebrate others’ successes as proof of their achievements and not the diminution of mine, and remind others the same. A life spent green with envy prevents you from ever celebrating your own success.

Advice #2: Karma is real

This next adage is one my dad constantly repeats, and it’s one I quite literally live my life by. Through the trials of life, my dad realized that when you truly treat people kindly by default and follow your heart in supporting the right thing, good things will come right back to you. If you don’t practice this, you’ll be treated poorly in return.

There are many stressors in uni that make me want to lash out at people. The administration of the school who schedule exams so late, the loud people in my hall who keep me up at night, and the disrespectful people who walk out of or disregard lectures taught by women are just a few examples. But when I take a moment to realize these are just humans trying to do their jobs or just students who might be a little too drunk, I realize I need patience and kindness to address the issue. Maybe you shouldn’t tell those in lectures to sit down and be quiet, but you can sit quietly, and give the lecturer your full attention and appreciation. Karma will bless you in return.

Advice #3: Choose to be strong

Instagram is actually the source of this quote, in a random video that addresses the rise of ‘ultra-thin’ as the ideal figure for women again. A recent post by Jameela Jamil pointed out that on display at the BAFTAs was a “sudden group weight loss of an entire industry of women of all different ages, ethnicities, heights, and builds.” For young women, I know Instagram reels can actually be the worst place to look for this advice because it often pushes the opposite content. Last March I made the decision to delete Instagram because all the content I was consuming was about dieting, weight loss, and body image and I didn’t want that negativity anymore.

This piece of advice is important to me because I see thinness everywhere. Even the Olympic rugby player Ilona Maher recently posted about how this content affects her! But there’s an important message in all of this: in a world where everyone is telling you to be thin, frail, and breakable, choose to be strong. Eat the full meal and lift the heavy weights. Not only are you scientifically proven to live longer and be healthier in old age, but you also deserve to take up space and enjoy the one life you’re given.

Advice #4: “You can always change your name.”

This is a line in one of my favourite songs, ‘Ventura Highway’ by America. This one is important to me because it’s a reminder that you’re not stuck on one path in life. The degree you get may be completely unrelated to the career you one day undertake. The boyfriend you keep for six years doesn’t need to be your husband. If you wake up one day and suddenly realize you hate your name, you can change it. You quite literally are the only one controlling your life; if you suddenly want to make a 180 pivot on your plans, you can! 

Life is too short to spend it doing something you hate. While I’m not advocating impulsive behavior, as uni students, sometimes we get stuck believing our degree is our life. You can always choose to change.

Advice #5: Focus on the present

I don’t exactly know who told me this, or if it’s just something I’ve picked up from life experience, but focusing too much on the past or future will make you miss life now. Hindsight is 20/20, and you can’t know the future. You can know what you do now: you can choose to spend all your time doing internship applications, worrying about your marks from last semester, or crying over last summer’s situationship. These are all valid and sometimes necessary actions, but you can also choose to shut your laptop, wipe off your tears, and go live now. Make new memories, go to class and learn, and enjoy uni while it lasts.

Advice #6: It’s never that serious

This piece of advice is one I learned just from being in my family, from growing up around loud, silly people full of snarky remarks. Sometimes in the trenches of intense emotions like stress, sadness, and frustration, it’s hard to gain perspective on the overall situation. The hardest thing to do, yet the best mental practice, is to step back for a second and realize that in the story of your life, this particular moment is not that serious. In fact, it might be a moment to take a deep breath and just giggle.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to everything. There are certainly moments that are big and worth taking seriously. But thinking of another song lyric by Jimmy Buffett, “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” When I’m around people who take things too seriously, I quite literally feel insane. It’s just life – let’s just take a break and laugh!

A Final Word of Advice…

While these six pieces of advice can’t be guaranteed to undo the hard times, I’ve found that learning them by heart helps a lot. I hope these pieces of wisdom will inspire you as much as they’ve inspired me.

• advice
• family
• ilona maher
• jameela jamil
• mental health
• wisdom