I started applying for Summer 2025 internships during the Summer of 2024. It was a season of optimism. The world was my oyster; everything was open, and rejections seemed unfathomable. By the end of the term, I was exhausted. I had applied, applied, and applied, but nothing worked. I was done.
Internship applications can be stressful, fun, and daunting. For a while, opening an application was like a game of jack-in-the-box. Was there a cover letter, or could I autofill my responses? Did I need references, or could I submit with just my credentials? I was enjoying myself. I felt like an adult, but at the same time, I was anxious to receive an opportunity.Â
No one tells you what to do when you never hear back from the organisation you applied to, whether after submitting the application or finishing an interview. Sitting through a one-way virtual interview is incredibly awkward and can feel fake. Tailoring your resume repeatedly feels like you’re stuck in an infinite loop. I felt stuck. Nothing worked.
While I was home after the end of the Martinmas Term, I finally broke down. I sat at my kitchen table and cried after submitting yet another application. Nothing went wrong per se, but the pressure and stress hit me at once. The hours I put into the applications seemed to go right down the drain. I was frustrated, confused, sad, and tired, and I just could not do anything else.Â
Like many oldest daughters, I have a terrible tendency to put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. Even though I shared some of my frustrations with friends and family, I never told the truth. I allowed my self-worth to be equated with my ability to get an internship. I fell into a LinkedIn hole, and every time one of my peers posted about their internship, I felt a little worse about myself. My obsession with finding an internship was unhealthy; I was allowing the internship search to consume me.
After spending the rest of the day oscillating between crying, distracting myself with books and TV, and applying to internships, I had a breakthrough. I separated my self-worth from my ability to find an internship and decided to take the internship search less seriously. I also let go of my pride (genuinely terrifying) and asked friends and family if they knew of any opportunities.Â
True to cliche, I finally got an internship after asking for help. A family friend recommended me for an opportunity, and after two rounds of interviews, I earned the role. It made me question why I did not ask for help in the first place, but I knew the answer. I was so committed to doing everything on my own that I ignored the people who wanted to help me, which made my life harder than it ever needed to be.
Internship application fatigue is real, and it took everything out of me. It made me question who I am, what I can do, and if I deserved anything. I put immense pressure on myself to be perfect, which was my biggest mistake. It is okay, even encouraged, to be passionate and work hard to achieve a goal, but that goal should not take over your life. Breathe, ask for help, touch grass. Everything will be okay.