Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a beautiful holiday. Yet, for many of us, it is not. I am someone who has never cared about Valentine’s Day. Cynically, I saw it as a commercial holiday. I know that for others, Valentine’s Day is a painful reminder of what they feel they are missing.
But what if I told you that Valentine’s Day does not have to be a negative experience? That, instead, it could be an opportunity to meet the next love of your life.
Picture yourself, on Valentine’s Day, indulging yourself in memories of heartbreak and loss. Maybe you’ve treated yourself to some bed-rotting. Sound familiar? Whilst we all do this sometimes, and as much as Valentine’s Day may feel like the perfect opportunity to do so, it will not help.
No, this article is not going to tell you that you need to get out there, take off your headphones, smile at random people on the street and wait for them to approach you! It is also not going to tell you that you don’t need a partner. You already know that. What it is going to tell you is that instead of Valentine’s Day being a self-pity holiday, think of it as your sign to begin your self-love journey.
Self-Acceptance
We’ve all heard the age-old saying, that if you can’t be by yourself, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. But your desire for a relationship on Valentine’s Day is normal. Self-love starts with self-acceptance. So, yes, accept your heartbreak, loss and regret, but do not allow them to restrict you. And if they do, even for a moment, that is also okay. The worst thing you can do in such a scenario is to fall back to self-criticism. Your feelings are valid.
Self-Trust
Self-trust is about trying new things, doing what you want to do, pursuing your interests, and trusting that no matter what happens, it’ll be okay. This is something which goes beyond Valentine’s Day, but start there! Try something new, something that you’ve been wanting to do for yourself. Show yourself that you can put your thoughts into action. And do this for yourself – you don’t need anyone else to do it for you, nor do you need anyone else’s approval (or disapproval). You can do it!
Self-Love
Love is essential to our being. We desire to give and receive it. Valentine’s Day can, for some of us, make us feel devoid of love. As experts at Headspace write:
But self-love goes deeper than this. Many see self-love as narcissistic. However, self-love is different from the love we show our friends and family. Self-love comes with self-acceptance and self-trust. It comes with time and experience. So, although this Valentine’s Day showing yourself love may be difficult, start small! Here are some of my suggestions:
- Practicing gratitude.
Gratitude can be practiced by remaining present. Remaining present all the time is impossible, but, this Valentine’s Day, you could take a moment to be mindful of yourself and your surroundings, journal, recite affirmations or go on a walk.
- Pampering yourself.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for this. Avoid self-pity chocolates. Self-love on Valentine’s Day does not have to be an indulgent sort of love. You can still eat the chocolates (I won’t tell you what not to do) but try to do that from a more positive point of view, rather than a negative one.
- Celebrating Galentine’s Day.
Everyone is talking about Galentine’s Day! Taking part in it, even in a small way, will help you to express the abundance of love that you have to give. It will also remind you that love is all around and does not have to be romantic to be special.
Maybe you do want a partner, maybe you don’t. No matter where you might find yourself this Valentine’s Day, try making space for self-love. Don’t let this holiday bring you down. I hope my tips can help to scare off the Valentine’s Day blues. Maybe then, you can begin implementing them into your life, so that come next Valentine’s Day, you will have transformed any pain you have into something positive, uplifting and creative. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!