From the start of lockdown, we have been bombarded with messages telling us how to spend this unexpected alone time – projects to start, diets to try, books to read, workouts to smash, and skills to learn. While this may be a variety of interesting and potentially valuable pursuits, despite what you may have heard, none of them are essential. With all this pressure to “achieve,” it is important to remember that your goals should be for you, and that sometimes that goal can be as simple as getting dressed in the morning. So, in the spirit of dismissing all the expectations which everyone has accumulated over this crazy summer, here is my summary of everything I did not do in lockdown, and why that’s okay.
I did not stay consistent with my workouts
At the start of lockdown, I worked hard to lose weight (an entirely personal decision which should not be the expected norm for anyone else). I was counting calories, saving Insta workouts and genuinely enjoying the process of pushing my body to new limits. About two months ago I ran out of steam. I went back to work, got fed up with restricting my food and stopped making the time to exercise. Naturally, I gained back a lot of the weight which I lost at the start of lockdown, which honestly was somewhat disappointing. While I could view that hard work as a waste of time, I am refusing to do myself such a disservice. I wanted to lose weight for me, but gaining it back doesn’t make me any less worthy. Throughout lockdown I invested in myself in different ways at different times, and irrespective of the physical outcome, I know I have come out stronger.
I did not get ahead on my reading
Despite my best efforts to study next year’s reading lists, purchase the necessary texts, and plan out how to tackle them, the actual reading part just never materialized. Covid-19 resulted in last-minute changes to the reading lists, meaning I didn’t have to do nearly as much as I originally thought. Once I realized Paradise Lost was no longer in the cards for me, the pressing feeling to get ahead kind of just evaporated. Do not get me wrong, doing some preparation probably would’ve been smart, but there’s no point worrying about it now when I’ll have countless hours in my room to get caught up.
I did not learn a new skill
And to be honest, I did not even develop my existing ones. The number of times I listed off fun activities I could do, but chose to nap instead, is more than I can count. A tiny bit of baking, a smidge of guitar and some vigorous but brief attempts at dancing were all I managed.. I do not need to have spent this stressful time achieving something to feel good enough. A pandemic does not equal “perfect time to become a more productive human!”
Whatever you did or did not do in lockdown, you are deserving of all the love, praise, and adoration you can give yourself. Making it through this incredibly difficult time is an achievement, and you do not need to tick any other boxes. The minute you stop tearing yourself down is the minute you find your power. So, let us launch into this new academic year without expectation. You are enough as you are right now, and you deserve to truly believe it.