The Pressure of Having it All Together: How to Manage Your Expectations

Smart. Well-rounded. Successful. Confident. Dependable. Positive. Perfect. 

When people often describe you this way, it can be hard not to be exactly that all the time. The feelings of guilt that can consume you when you don’t know the answers, fail at something, or feel insecure can be extremely stressful. I sometimes feel this way like I have let all my friends and family down when I can’t be what they want me to be.

Having the reputation of being that perfect person who has everything together or knows the answers to everything is a difficult standard to meet. We are human. We have days where we don’t feel like ourselves. We have days where we cry for hours. We have days where we can barely drag ourselves out of bed. Eventually those heavy expectations weighing on your shoulders will crush you if you let it. 

Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.

– Dodinksy

There’s no strong single advice I have to deal with these kinds of struggles, but it’s important that we understand human complexity and not let an adjective or label represent all of you. We are a mixture of all kinds of emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. You can be confident while still having insecurities. You can be incredibly intelligent and not pass that exam. You can be successful without having thousands in the bank. You can help someone without sacrificing all your time and energy. 

Use these adjectives to motivate you to work hard and do good, but have grace with yourself. Running at full charge all the time will only lead to a crash and burn. 

Trust me, when you stop letting other people dictate who you are and your worth, the happier you will be.

• advice
• college
• expectations
• mental health
• self care
• self love