At the start of every new year, I always get a fresh wall calendar. I’m a visual person and I love to see the days left in the month to see how far along I’ve come. I never really have a for-sure idea of what I want the calendar to look like. Last year it was vintage-themed, before that, I think it was a cat compilation. This year, the one I chose was fairly simplistic, but it felt like the perfect reminder of what I was seeking for my last semester of college. Balance. Each month has a quote about achieving a state of zen. Yes, I am aware I am slowly transforming into a cheesy, unsolicited-advice giving grandmother. I’ll stop describing my wall calendar to you now.
Some background about my struggles with balance. I have always considered myself a go-getter and tend to overwhelm myself with projects. These are things that, in moderation, I find exciting, but it got to the point where it was all just noise. I was ‘on’ 24/7 and didn’t have the time to appreciate life. I think this stems from a fear of missing out on opportunities. I want to experience it all! Who doesn’t?
I fully realized the extent of this problem last year when I was feeling constantly worn down and sick with anxiety. I realized I didn’t like anything I was doing. I had fallen into a pattern of pursuing my interests, only to find out they were mundane to me now. I no longer wanted this for my life, but I found it hard to get out of my habits and just breathe.
In the crazy world of college, I see a lot of so-called hustlers like me. People want to experience life to the fullest and be the best, but the relentless perusal of those goals will eventually sneak up on and consume you. If you find yourself in this situation, you’re not alone! There are some things you can do to save you from yourself.
Get your priorities in order
The reality of my situation was that I had no idea what my priorities were. I have always been a bit of a people pleaser, and I wanted to do good for others. I didn’t always care if I liked the work or not, just as long as others were happy. This is stupid. Lol. There are two things to remember. One: people don’t care half as much as you think they do in your head. Two: work is just that, work. Don’t make it your whole life. With these things in mind, focus on what’s important. You. Your hopes, your dreams, what you want your life to look like.
If you are a people pleaser like me, this process might take some time. I truly didn’t know what I wanted out of life, and I’m still not 100% there. But taking the time to ask myself what I wanted my day-to-day to look like was infinitely helpful. If asking yourself what you want is a hard question, try this. Think of yourself as another person, like a best friend. Then ask them what they want. Maybe you want time for yoga. Maybe you want to pursue a different career path. Just quit doing everything and make time for your priorities. Yes, quit. Please quit things. Quitting one thing is how you win in others.
Minimize distractions
One of the things I learned about myself in college is that I am a material girl. I get it from my momma! I can’t help it. I love to shop for anything from thrifted knick-knacks to line up on my windowsill to the most impractical dress on Princess Polly. Right now my room is full of stuff, and I feel easily distracted and a bit overwhelmed by my belongings. I suggest finding your balance by getting rid of things you don’t need. Finding that security in simple things like what’s in your room can help you find balance in your real-life stuff too.
The same applies to the online space. This one is hard for me. Constantly being on Instagram or Tik Tok is fun, but gradually you start to get FOMO (often subconsciously.) Don’t let social media be another thing that gets to you!
Minimizing distractions can also be a beneficial exercise in making hard choices. Do you really need those pair of jeans you used to love but can’t fit into anymore? Probably not. It’s just clutter. Taking the step to figure out those questions can help you out with bigger ones like: do I need to be staying up ’till midnight to do all my work? No to that one too. Work-life balance is the key.
Personal Wellness is 100% essential
This is the big one. Self-care is not selfish. It is truly essential. Constantly prioritizing work or school over yourself leads to increased physical sickness, depression, confusion, and the list goes on and on. Not only does having you-time grant a clear headspace to think and be creative, but it also is a way of appreciating you. You do a lot. So, set aside genuine time in your day every day to go for a walk, make a nice meal, listen to music or see friends. These experiences revitalize us and help us set the course for a nice, balanced life.
These steps helped me to find balance, and I wish the same for you. I no longer feel obligated to do things for others. I prioritize my well-being as an essential part of living it is. I like what I’m doing again. There are days when I feel like things are piling up and I feel myself reverting to my old ways. That’s normal. Just take a deep breath, a step back, or whatever you need to do to find that balance again. It will find you as long as you are seeking it. Also shoutout to CVS for the cool new wall calendar (even though your prices are getting higher, which isn’t cool.)