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Letting People Go: A Loss Isn’t Always A Loss

One thing I have really learned how to deal with in the past few years is how to let someone go If you are finding the relationship is no longer mutually beneficial, no longer healthy, or maybe even holding you back. Whether it’s a relationship with your loved one or just a relationship with a friend in general, you shouldn’t be afraid to let someone go if you both don’t want the same thing or if they are just not a positive aspect of your life anymore. There are some people who are meant to stay in your life forever, but there are also people who are only meant to stay in your life temporarily, and that’s okay.

When to cut them off?

One of the hardest decisions, at least for me, is deciding when it is time to cut ties and move on. Once again, this includes both a SO or a friend in general. When the relationship starts to bring you down or it makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s a red flag. Don’t ignore it and don’t try to justify their actions.


If you realize you don’t feel excited to see them, trust your gut feeling. You don’t want to see them for a reason.

I’ve realized that my gut is usually right. As soon as I start to get a bad feeling about someone, I try to analyze it to see if there is something I haven’t noticed before or I try to figure out why I’m getting a bad vibe from them.


If they only care about their needs, and always put themselves before you, let them go.

I understand that in certain occasions it is okay to want to put yourself first before others, but if you notice that the other person constantly is putting their needs before yours or doing things without caring about your feelings, what’s the point of sticking around?


If they constantly talk negatively about their loved ones to you, what makes you think they aren’t talking negatively about you to others?

This is something that I realized is super important when it comes to finding out who your fake and toxic friends are. If they are constantly talking smack about their friend to you and then acting like nothing happened then it kind of shows they are not a loyal friend. I get being mad at someone and venting out because something they did bugged you, but if they repeatedly trash someone else but continue to pretend like nothing is wrong then take that into consideration. Do you want to be friends with someone like that?


The moment you realize that person is holding you back from doing what makes you happy, cut the cord and let them go.

No one should ever stop you from being the best person that you can and want to be. If you feel like you are constantly being pulled back into bad habits or just pulled back in general, don’t be afraid to move on. Like PartyNextDoor said, “Things change, people change, feelings change too.” Just like you outgrow clothes, you outgrow people too. Sometime’s a loss isn’t a loss, it’s a change. And it might be a change that will take a while to get accustomed to, but it’s for the better and a better you. Stay strong! 





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Edith Ayala is currently a third year at Sonoma State University. She was raised by a Salvadoran family in the heart of Los Angeles from 1996-2014. In 2014, she moved to Rohnert Park to attend school. She is a Computer Science major and plans on working for Google at some point of her life. Edith likes to write about situations that she has been in, in a way her readers can relate to.
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