School is hard. It drains you mentally, financially and emotionally. It literally takes everything out of you. So going home and slipping into your comfy pjs and falling into bed is probably all you really wanna do. But when you live with someone who just brings down the whole vibe, it can get difficult to feel at ease in your own home. I have lived on eggshells for the whole school year. I have dreaded going home, and I have felt isolated from my own room. I am living with a toxic roommate.
When I first met my roommate we were college freshman, and were so happy we were so similar. We both liked reggae, we both loved the same things, and we both had such open minds, or so it seemed. We only lived together for a brief time sophomore year, and soon we were reunited our junior year.
I will admit, the beginning of junior year I was not the best person; I was struggling academically, and was recovering from a break up. I would come home to see my stuff either used, thrown out, or moved to make room for her stuff. This made me feel like her stuff was more important than mine. I had always shared a room with my sister, so being away from home and in my own space was a dream. I decided to not make anything of it to keep the peace. I had always wanted our room to be a safe haven for both of us despite what was going on in the house, but seeing my stuff get disrespected was not making it easy to be a pleasant roommate.
It was not until she continued to disregard my feelings after having a conversation about how I felt she was disrespecting my stuff, when it became clear that I had to distance myself from her. I had bent over backwards trying to let go of things that she did that I did not like, but she would not even try to do the same things for me. I was giving consideration, and respect to an individual who was not reciprocating it. And in the long run, it was not healthy for me.
It saddens me, because at one point I was extremely excited to live with her, and now we’re not even on speaking terms. I have to constantly look the other way when I feel like my space is being invaded. I have to constantly remind myself that sometimes no response is the best response; that there is no point in engaging in something when the other person isn’t open to a conversation. And that there are people who will hear what you have to say but not care.
There are only a couple of months left, and soon I will be saying goodbye to the negativity that I have dealt with this past year. I have learned that sometimes in order to stay sane, you need to let others do whatever they want and you need to focus on yourself. I have also learned that if someone is really your friend or cares about you, they will hear what you have to say and contribute to your happiness rather than your problems. And in the end, if someone choses to weigh you down rather than lift you up it is okay to say goodbye to them.
Related Articles:
8 Reasons Why Living With Your Bestfriends Is Like Living With Your Sisters – http://www.hercampus.com/school/sonoma-state/8-reasons-why-living-your-best-friends-living-your-sister
An Ode to the Girl Gang – http://www.hercampus.com/school/sonoma-state/ode-girl-gang