I’m not sure when it happened, but somehow eating, the most simplistic answer to human survival has transformed into many College women’s nightmare. This nightmare, specifically, is on replay for many women student-athletes.
The reality of athletes is that they are constantly being compared to one another. Who can run faster, who plays more during a game, who is a better teammate, who is the best. Now, add these pressures into the ugly truth of the pressures society pushes on women body image. The idea of starving yourself to feel skinny is impossible for student athletes, the dilemma being, athletes burn an incredible amount of calories. In order to replenish your bodies, we must eat! Obvious, right. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for many women student-athletes.
For myself, this nightmare began a couple months into my first year at Saint Mike’s. Pizza nights after a long bus ride, constant snacking, and oily alliot food hit me hard. When soccer season ended I found myself in a slump. I began looking at my body with disgust. I stopped wanting to run to clear my head and began running to feel “skinny”.
During winter break of my freshman year I switched to a vegetarian diet. Many of my friends relied on a plant based diet so I knew the types of food I should be eating to keep up with my nutrition. I believe my nutrition and sport performance has flourished through this plant based diet.
However, there were certain moments where my mind told myself I wasn’t hungry, purely so I wouldn’t eat “badly” after a workout. Eating healthy after a workout is evidently vital to muscle recovery, but student-athletes are constantly traveling. Sometimes, the “bad” food available is the only food available
In the fall of 2018, the Saint Mikes Women’s Soccer team traveled to Florida for our out of league games. After a night game the only food available was pasta. Don’t get me wrong I am a huge pasta and Italian food fan. Yet, I felt guilty eating the pasta because I hadn’t played enough minutes during my game to deserve the carbs. My athletic trainer had to specifically voice her opinion about me not eating, for me to even partly understand what she was getting at.
When I returned back to campus this upcoming winter break of 2019, I recognized the constant voice in my head that questioned whether or not I should eat that extra piece of bread. I questioned if I was allowed to have french fries as a side or if the right decision is to get a salad. I felt myself hungry and instead of eating I decided to go for a run so that I wouldn’t eat. I’ve caught this habit and I have been working hard to change my mindset. Unfortunately, for many women student-athletes the pressure as a player, student, and of course to have the “perfect” body, causes this voice to become louder and louder everyday.
Last year, Saint Mikes invited a former woman student-athlete, who suffered immensely from an eating disorder. When she spoke of the warning signs and her story, I immediately thought of many of my student-athlete friends. As I walked out of that meeting, I heard a group of student-athletes announcing that they thought this mandatory meeting was dumb. They voiced that they there are no student-athletes who are suffering from eating disorders. What I wish I said to them, was that they were ignorant to say so.
This is a problem that needs to be talked about within both the student-athlete community and around Saint Mikes campus. Eating and body image struggles is not something to be ashamed of and it is something that should discussed.