Did you know that men cry? I know! I never really thought it was real until I understood
that I was a.) a man and b.) human. What a crazy fact, right? When someone told me that men
cry I couldn’t believe it. I almost asked how they knew that but figured they were coming from a
place of experience so I decided not to press the subject.
November has come which means October is over, as is Mental Health Awareness Day.
The posts about mental health were all I could see throughout the day. Messages of support,
stories about courage and bravery. However, like any other day within the universe, this day
came and went and people have now carried on with their lives waiting for the next made up
national day of awareness for a social issues that no one seems to talk about. There exists a wild
construction about men and their mental health that has been around my whole life. For men to
show any signs of emotion, they’re considered weak. What is more interesting is that when men
show signs of anger and aggression they’re playing into the construction that society has created
for them. Any sign of real emotion like empathy, grief, sadness, etc. portrays that men are
somber, and delicate. Not to mention that when women show signs of anger or aggression
they’re “crazy” or “a bitch” and when they show signs of empathy, they’re just being human.
It’s hard to believe that people used to think like this, or maybe still do. I’ve always been afraid
to fully accept everything that comes with being human; always afraid of embracing who I want
to be for the fear of being rejected from society. I just never wanted people to judge me for
simply being me. What’s even crazier is that that isn’t a big thing to ask of people and yet, for
many, this is an impossible endeavor some can’t seem to leave alone.
To be emotional is to be human. To cry like a girl does not exist. To throw like a girl does
not exist. To act like a girl does not exist. Being a girl exists, and embodying the characteristics
of being feminine exists, but the conception that one is “being a girl” or being as emotional as a
girl does not, and will never, exist. How does that even make any sense? Seriously, I need
someone to explain that logic to me. I understand why this gimmick existed in the past and it
does make sense as to why it was perpetuated within ancient America. What I don’t understand
is that there is still a massive presence within modern America that advocates for the suppression
of men’s emotions. This advocacy, this blatant ignorance in the face of an epidemic has crucial
consequences, many of which I don’t think people are aware of. So please, allow me to break it
down for you.
According to MindWise Innovation:
●1 in 10 men have experienced feelings of depression or anxiety: According to a poll of
21,000 American men by researchers at the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS),
nearly one in ten men reported experiencing some form of depression or anxiety, but less
than half sought treatment.
●Men die by suicide 3.5x more often than women.
●About 6 out of every 10 men experience at least one trauma in their lives: Men are more
likely to experience trauma related to accidents, physical assault, combat, disaster, or to
witness death or injury. Events such as these can lead to a development of PTSD that
hasn’t manifested until weeks, months, and in the most serious cases, years after the
incident.
●49% of men feel MORE depressed than they admit to the people in their life.
Almost HALF, I cannot stress this enough, half of the men in your life have been depressed
and have never talked about it. Why? Because of the fear, the fear of rejection, the fear of
fabricated weakness, the fear of humiliation. Men would rather die than talk about the feelings
they have inside of them because society has made them feel so alone. It is our society that is the
mortal enemy, not the emotions. Talking about mental health does not make you sick, it does not
make you less than, it does not make you a nuisance; it makes you human. Seeking help or just a
professional to talk to is a string act of will and a public exhibition of self-care that disregards
what society expects of you.
If you read this article, I thank you and the men and women in your life thank you. This
conversation needs to be had and needs to evolve into a norm that no longer places men on the
outside. Women have enough issues to deal with in this world and an unresponsive, emotionless
(but secretly so emotional) man is not something else they need. Your partner, whoever they are,
male, female, mix, cannot be in a relationship with no reciprocation. Love requires
conversations, all of them. So please remember, all boys cry and they’re damn good at it.
If you or someone you know is feeling depressed or is having thoughts of suicide please call
the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
https://www.mindwise.org/blog/uncategorized/a-critical-look-at-mens-ment…