It’s a situation we’ve all witnessed: women want to lose weight and achieve their “dream body,” so they sign up for the gym, stop eating food they once enjoyed and grow a little more miserable and a little less healthy each day. Whether you’ve seen this happen to your mom, best friend, sister or yourself, women using the gym for self-sabotage and even self-harm has become a far too common occurrence.
The societal standard that women should work to achieve skinniness over healthiness has led to fitness centers becoming centers of self-loathing and insecurity.
I have been lifting weights and finding my way around gyms for the past six years, and I am a firm believer that every woman can learn a little and grow a lot by grabbing some weights and hitting the gym. Getting physically strong strengthens the mind and body. Redefining working out as an act of personal growth can be a powerful way to bite back at social expectations.
I started consistently utilizing a weight room at my all-girls high school through the sports teams I was on. I learned how to warm up and cool down, perform exercises and feel comfortable in a gym. I gained confidence in myself and learned how good it felt to get strong. This past year, I turned my passion to action when I spent my summer studying to become a Certified Personal Trainer.
Even with all this experience under my belt, the thought of a male-dominated gym at my university was terrifying. Would my once-safe place become a place of comparison? Would I worry about the sweat stains on my workout outfit more than the strength and skills I was gaining?
Then I set foot in the gym. I scanned all the “gym-bros” in their cut-off T-shirts, and I hesitated. I almost turned on my heels and went right back to an empty multi-purpose room or the cardio machines, even though I had free-weight exercises planned for that day. Then I remembered, this is my place. I know what I’m doing. I belong here.
With newfound motivation, I turned up the Megan Thee Stallion song playing in my earbuds, walked right past all the boys and got to work.
Every time I walk into the free weights section of the gym as one of the only women there, I feel a surge of confidence and self-reliance. I am doing something challenging and a bit scary, and I am doing it for myself. I’m not working out to be skinny—I want to be strong. I’m not working out because it’s a requirement for a team. I want to be there.
The gym has become my go-to place for exercising self-love. Have a bad day? I head to the gym to burn off some steam. Got some extra energy from exciting news? I’ll be jamming with my girl-boss playlist at a squat rack. A place that used to be so daunting is now a second home.
My journey has been tedious and exhausting and empowering, and every time a friend expresses interest in trying out a new part of the gym or a new exercise, my ears perk up. The clear underrepresentation of women at gyms can be daunting. It’s easy to feel like a little fish in a big pond, like you’re taking up too much space or like everyone is watching you. But we all need to start somewhere!
So as a gym-fiend and as a woman, here are some tips for how to incorporate weights into your self-care routine:
- If you don’t know where to start, look up a fitness plan or videos on YouTube. Study them a bit, ask an experienced gym-goer and start small. Good form and feeling comfortable take time!
- Take it slow. Free weights are intimidating and can be dangerous if you are a beginner. Try starting with machine exercises, and once you feel comfortable, you can move up to dumbbells and barbells.
- Grab a friend! Gyms can feel big and scary when you’re alone, so minimize stress with someone who wants to give it a go with you. PLUS, they can spot you once you’ve worked up your way with weights and are trying to hit a personal record on your bench press or back squat.
- Do what feels good! While I have found the greatest pleasure in getting strong through working out with free weights, there are so many different ways to move your body that are exciting: yoga, long walks, rollerblading, pilates, dance, gardening—whatever speaks to you!
- Reflect on why you are there. It’s important to consistently check in on yourself and make sure your journey is intrinsically motivated, sustainable and healthy for your own body. It can be easy to fall into bad habits and negative thoughts, so remind yourself of your reasons for being there. Be your own biggest cheerleader!
No longer is getting strong a masculine concept! We can reclaim the gym and incorporate weights into our lives as a way of growing mentally and physically, or simply because it’s fun! Let’s get up and get moving! All my ladies: to the gym!