On the days when I am feeling my worst, there are a few things that can make me feel like I am back to normal: a warm chocolate chip cookie, doing my extensive self-care routine and something that I think is truly overlooked: a quick check-in from a family member or friend. While my other forms of comfort are good at bringing me quick satisfaction, check-ins from loved ones have truly healed me better than anything. Simply sending a quick “how are you?” or “I just wanted to check up on you” text can make a real difference for someone struggling with life’s ups and downs.
One of the biggest benefits of checking in on loved ones is that it strengthens your relationships. A 2022 study found that an unexpected phone call or text from someone you care about actually makes a difference in stress levels, in addition to making the people you love feel more appreciated. I know that personally, the surprise of getting a check-in text from someone who cares about me makes me feel like I am incredibly important to their life as well as feeling loved. I have experienced this firsthand when a friend was going through a difficult patch. I decided to send her a “How are you?” text. That small gesture transformed our relationship. What started as a single check-in has evolved into a daily morning walk together to continue this process of making sure we are both doing the best we can for that day.
Another major benefit of checking up on people is that it encourages more open discussion about emotions. As a college student, balancing school, friends, work and extracurricular activities can make it tough to regulate my emotions. But the simple ability to check up on a friend or someone you care about allows for more open communication about how we as their support system can help them better. Hearing and feeling vulnerability from someone who is struggling also allows for a safe space that could truly help or even save a life. Words can create an unimaginable impact.
But what about the benefits of being checked in on yourself? For one, these check-ins provide the perspective you might not have gained on your own or have thought about before. As someone who loves to talk out problems facing my everyday life, hearing from my friends allows me to ask for opinions, hear what they have to say about it and think about better ways to solve it.
As an overthinker, at times I tend to spiral into my anxieties. But, with the support of my friends checking in on me, I have received advice that has completely changed my perspective on many of my anxieties and how I can better deal with them. Another way that being checked up on helps is that it improves mental health. A study done in 2020 found that if we can focus on how we are personally feeling, it can allow for better solutions, bring ideas to better resources and even decrease anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. Mental health is not linear, nor is our instinct to want support, which means that being checked in improves our lives exponentially.
So, whether you are checking in on someone or being checked in on, take a moment to remind a loved one that they are supported. How are you?