As the days get shorter and the semester draws to a close, it can feel like time is running away from us. Editing articles over the last couple of weeks, I have noticed two common themes: stress and finding enjoyment in the season. SLU’s Her Campus writers, although a skewed representation, speak to the feelings hovering around campus. The joys of fall abound, leaves piling up along West Pine, crunching underfoot as we scurry to class. But the worries pile up, too; rainfall on crispy leaves turns them soggy, clogging up drains, leaving the trees to drip, covered in cold dew.
How do we reconcile the urge to stroll in Forest Park with the need to write that paper? How do we appreciate the golden rays hitting the prettiest array of oranges and reds I have seen in my four years on campus, without grumbling about the early darkness that follows? How are we supposed to be present in our Friendsgiving celebrations when we are reminded of time’s swift passing? And how do I manage all of this, knowing that it is my last year to feel this array of emotions at SLU?
While walking to one such Friendsgiving celebration earlier this month, I tallied the dinner party gatherings I had coming up. I got great comfort listing the groups I have grown close to over my time at SLU, fondly thinking about how lucky I am to have met so many wonderful people. Until I realized that next year, I probably will not go to a single Friendsgiving. Having unclear plans for after I graduate, I have no idea if any of my friends will even be living in the same city as me.
As I walked to this gathering, I also thought about the impending presentation that awaited me the next day. This presentation felt particularly weighty as it was my senior capstone for my English major: a representation of all the work and learning I have completed, my last chance to represent myself to the department before I leave. Thus, I reminded myself to manage my time at dinner so I would have time to practice and perfect my slides afterwards. I wanted to talk to friends I do not usually see, and yet, I also cared deeply about feeling fully prepared to display what I had learned to my classmates and professors.
This is the double-bind of autumn. Unfortunately, the busiest time of the semester always overlaps with Thanksgiving and other fall and winter celebrations. Every year as I go home for Thanksgiving break, I dream about how much work I will get done without the added burden of classes. And every year, I spend almost no time working and almost all of my time reconnecting with friends and family.
Would I trade the time spent with my loved ones, even if it meant being less stressed? No. But would I pay quite a sum of money to have the semester planned out differently so these times do not coincide? Absolutely. The fall festivity and semester-end stress double up means I never feel like I am wholly honoring all parts of my responsibilities.
Finding balance in this season feels just like fitting all your friends in your small on-campus apartment for a Friendsgiving dinner party. You must find a way to fit every “guest,” or responsibility, into your space, while finding a way to honor each of them. The best way to do this, whether you are hosting or juggling work, is to check in with everyone, or everything, and make sure they feel valued.
Trust that even if you do not have a meaningful conversation with every person, they are just happy to be there. Maybe you do not have the deepest conversation with your close friends, but they will be there next week and the week after that. Stepping out of metaphor, perhaps you trust that your clean room, delicious meal routine and close connections with friends will be there for you after the craziness of the season winds down. It is OK if they get ignored in light of final presentations and Friendsgiving meal-prep.
Whatever this season looks like for you, find balance through it. I find balance through accepting that it is impossible to give my all to everything all of the time. Even if I would like to show up to every party with freshly-baked cookies and read every page of what was assigned, sometimes chips and salsa and a SparkNotes synopsis will have to do. Discovering what priorities are most important, given that these priorities probably look different at this time of the year, allows me to take some pressure off myself to be perfect.
This season is ultimately grounded in gratitude. If I can show myself grace and appreciation for what I do achieve, while being present, I can live this fall to the fullest. Sometimes that just means letting go; after all, nobody likes a stressed-out dinner party host.