It has always felt like it was so easy for my extroverted friends to constantly want to go out, do things, and meet people. To me, those things just felt exhausting. Of course I wanted to have fun with my friends, but I frequently found myself daydreaming of going back to my room and lying in bed. I was jealous that they did not seem to get this social exhaustion, and I started to wish that I could be more like them. Why was it that I had to be the grandma of the group? It has taken me a long time to understand that there was nothing wrong with me, I was just more introverted than they were. I liked spending time alone and checking in with myself more than they did, and I came to realize that being alone was okay.
Even though the social aspect of my introversion is more of a slight annoyance than anything, it still does affect me in some more serious ways too. It has always been hard for me to get out of my comfort zone and go after what I want. I get extremely intimidated by sending formal e-mails and applying to resume building clubs and organizations that require application processes. But throughout all of this, I have learned that it’s okay to be intimidated. It’s okay to fear rejection and failure and want to crawl under the covers forever to avoid all responsibilities. It’s even okay to be a grandma and go back to your room early for some much-needed rest and relaxation after a horrible or long week. What is not okay, I have learned, is letting that fear control you. It is important for introverts to put ourselves out there and go for things despite everything inside us telling us we will never get it. We won’t receive anything we don’t ask for, so ask, demand, and work as hard as you can to get yourself to where you want to be.