The holiday season begins with Halloween and now that it’s officially November, personally I can begin to fully prepare for the craziness of Thanksgiving and the looming Christmas season. I’ve already seen a swath of Mariah Carey memes, and the Black Friday sale emails are starting to fill my inbox. To be perfectly honest, the holiday season is just one huge ball of stress. The latter half of the fall semester is incredibly busy without the holidays, between gearing up for finals and in my case, finishing grad school applications. Planning for the holidays is always difficult when you’re trying to juggle four research projects and regular class assignments. This semester has brought on a new challenge for me: I can’t make it home for Thanksgiving. To compound my existing stress, my family is going on a business trip during that same time frame, meaning they’ll be hundreds of miles away.
I’m not entirely unfamiliar with the distance from my family, as we already live 300 miles away from each other. For example, Halloween was a nice way to visit home and introduce my boyfriend to my family, but the holiday centered around togetherness and sharing feels more important. This is the first time I’ve missed a holiday, and I’m not sure how it will look this year. Upon bringing it up with my mom, she was honest about missing me for Thanksgiving, but reminded me that it’s okay. I’m an adult and sometimes things just don’t work out. At the very least, I don’t feel obligated to go home and forego my academics to spend time with my family. And if we’re being really honest, I don’t have to worry about having to put up with extended family drama.
Homesickness is a real thing, and I know I’m not the only one who gets torn between academics and spending time with loved ones. If you’re like me and are used to going home for the holidays, you might be feeling a bit isolated and unsure of how to spend your time. Winter is often rough, especially if you are impacted by seasonal affective disorder, or seasonal depression, and it can be difficult to stay involved and reduce your stress.
My first recommendation is to reach out to friends. “Friendsgiving” is a rising trend among younger people who prefer to share their Thanksgiving with close friends, often to reduce the stress or awkwardness of meeting with family. Sharing time and a good meal with your friends is a great way to connect and get to know each other better.
I would also recommend treating your time like a staycation. If you’re going to school somewhere outside your hometown, now is a good time to explore! St. Louis, for example, has a ton of free or student-discounted activities at the zoo or Forest Park, not to mention a ton of shopping malls and the Delmar Loop. Grab a friend and check out that boba place everyone’s been talking about or take a walk to your nearest library branch. If you feel comfortable going alone, that’s great, too! Even if you’re going to school in your hometown, you can go and hang out in your favorite spots or try out something new.
As the holidays get closer, take time to remember that the season of sharing also means taking time for yourself. Finals and classes are good reasons to skip the trip home for Thanksgiving, but protecting your mental, physical and emotional health are just as valid. You can love your family and the holidays, but take time to love yourself, too!