If you are anything like me, and what seems to be most of the younger generations, you watched “Heated Rivalry” this past fall for the queer romance it promised. The HBO hit, depicting a fictional slow-burn romance between two famous hockey players, reached an average of 10.6 million viewers per episode. The popularity spurred on “Heated Rivalry” watch events, brand deals and the exceptional cases of people tattooing quotes from the show on their bodies. While that last case of fan devotion is few and far between, the widespread and overwhelming adoration of the show is clear.
I thoroughly enjoyed the show and the representation of LGBTQ+ athletes, especially the portrayed hardships of coming out and the fear of non-acceptance. It was deeply moving to see the wave of actual athletes who felt they, in solidarity with the main characters Ilya and Shane, could come out and find acceptance in the world of sports. While all this seems vastly positive, as a queer woman, I found myself wondering where that representation was for us.
It is no exaggeration to say that queer men find more representation and acceptance within society today. There is a staggering difference in the number of gay versus lesbian bars. There are roughly 36 lesbian bars throughout all of America compared to the over 800 gay bars. While these 800 gay bars are not exclusively for gay men, as queer women often frequent them, it is still connected to the larger issue, a lack of women-dominated spaces. Lesbian bars face multiple hurdles in their operation, largely because they are mostly women-owned and run. Since queer women and nonbinary people typically make less than men, the income needed to support the bars may not be available the way it is for gay bars.
Second, there is a widespread difference in how queer women’s relationships are portrayed in the media, in both the amount and duration of representation. Although there was a brief stint (2019-2023) in which LGBTQ+ women were favored in the amount of representation, that has now switched to overwhelmingly favoring men: “Nearly half of all LGBTQ characters on cable are gay men, at 35 out of 77 (46 percent).” Furthermore, lesbian relationships are often not the main focus of the shows but take the role of background plots that act as supporting storylines. While any representation benefits the community, there is a serious discussion to be had about how many different identities are being fully represented.
So why is it that queer women enjoy less representation than their male counterparts? There are many different explanations for this that largely track back to the deeply ingrained misogyny within American culture. For male viewers, women not being interested in men may come off as an affront to their masculinity. Lesbian relationships subvert the idea that men are needed in all aspects of society, such as interpersonal relationships, and therefore may maintain less support from the general public. While male-focused shows are often watched by all genders, shows focused on women may only receive support from other women. Misogyny often leads to a broad disregard toward women or non-male-focused shows and results in less funding and viewership.
Taken all together, these inequalities do not mean that representation of queer men is bad or not valuable. Representation of all LGBTQ+ members is important for the entire community to remain visible. However, I feel it is important to point out the inequities within this representation to ensure all groups are represented equally. Furthermore, while this article focused on the minimization of queer women, there also remain deep inequalities between cisgender queer persons and those who are gender queer.
What can we do to uplift queer women? It is easy. Seek out lesbian media to broaden your horizons. Support queer women’s spaces through donations, visits or spreading awareness. Check your internal biases against women and women-led spaces.
Overall, supporting one group within the community will always reverberate outwards toward widespread benefits, not just for the LGBTQ+ community, but also to help create a more accepting and inclusive society for all.