In a world that constantly bombards us with updates, invitations and a relentless stream of information, the fear of missing out, or FOMO, has become an undeniable aspect of modern life. Social media platforms, large group chats and the ever-present urge to be part of every trend and present at every gathering can leave us feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
Last May, I wrote an article about how I learned to love my own company. In my social life, I realized that being more comfortable with myself also meant being more comfortable with setting boundaries. After years of people-pleasing, I became such a good friend to myself that I finally learned how to say no.
This newfound ability to say no marked the beginning of my journey into embracing JOMO – the Joy of Missing Out. Instead of succumbing to the pressures of constant connectivity and the fear that declining an invitation might mean missing out on the next big thing or that the one time I didn’t show up to the function would be the most memorable, I now relish the moments of peace.
Something about being in my 20s has made me reevaluate what I am putting my energy into, and I have realized the most important thing I should be worried about missing out on is my own happiness.
If we live life worrying about missing out, worrying about what others think of us, spending time going out to keep up appearances or ensuring that our friends don’t have a fun time without us there, then oftentimes what takes a backseat to all of those worries is our own well-being and contentment.
Now, of course, I am not suggesting that anyone declines every invitation that comes their way and becomes a hermit. Rather, evaluate who and what fills your cup, and who and what drains you.
And then start saying no to things you don’t actually find enjoyment in.
Everyone needs a different balance of socializing and time alone, and that balance is different for everyone. It’s incredibly important to find out what your own balance is. Some people study better in groups, some people prefer to study on their own. The same logic can be applied to social needs. Your friend might feel recharged after a party or a group dinner, while you feel completely exhausted two hours in. But if you’ve ever gone somewhere, not wanting to miss out, and then ended up wishing you hadn’t, maybe it’s time to find happiness in saying no sometimes.
Personally, finding joy in staying home isn’t about isolating myself from the world; rather, it’s a conscious choice to prioritize my well-being. Embracing JOMO has allowed me to appreciate the quiet moments, delve into personal interests and recharge without the pressure of social obligations. It’s about recognizing that the most memorable experiences are not always found in crowded events but can often emerge from the simplicity of being present with oneself.
By learning to set boundaries, say no when necessary and understand our unique social needs, we can empower ourselves to have a life that aligns with our authentic selves. The art of missing out, when embraced with intention, transforms the fear of missing out on others’ lives into the joy of being present for our own lives.