If you had told me in high school that solitude would become something that I did not despise, and actually thoroughly enjoyed, I probably would have laughed in your face. Alone time always felt like the worst thing in the world when I was a teenager. I hated having too much time to think. There were always too many thoughts in my head, and I was too good at distracting myself by doing sports, joining clubs, and having a jam-packed schedule that left no time for downtime–or rest. When people talked about the importance of alone time, I wrote them off as introverts who just didn’t understand my lifestyle. Looking back, I could not have been more wrong.
This past semester, I ended up living alone in my apartment because my roommate randomly transferred over the summer and SLU didn’t end up assigning anyone else to the space… and I loved it. I loved having my own space, being able to spend time in a place that felt like home and where I was the only one making the rules. In fact, I liked it so much that I didn’t even notice that I had started enjoying my own company. There would be times when I would prefer to be alone, choosing to stay in my apartment, play some music, light a candle and cook dinner rather than making plans with a friend. I realized that having a space that was 100% mine and 100% safe made me feel so much more at peace than I ever had before.
This semester, I have been studying abroad in Athens, Greece. I chose to come to Athens for a variety of reasons. I’ve been obsessed with Greece ever since I saw “Mamma Mia” for the first time in seventh grade, I absolutely adore Mediterranean cuisine and I really wanted to go somewhere with warmer weather. However, I also wanted a challenge. I wanted my study abroad experience to be one where I would truly immerse myself in the place I was studying, its people, customs, and way of life. For me, that meant going somewhere alone. Much like how I went to college six hours away from my hometown to a campus where I knew no one, I wanted to study abroad somewhere that would push me out of my comfort zone and test my limits. Mostly, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.
This experience has helped me learn, grow and become a better version of myself. I’ve taken solo trips to different countries, traveled both alone and in groups, and even managed to single-handedly navigate myself back to my hostel in Florence when my phone died (still not sure how I managed that one). I have wandered around Athens by myself so many times that sometimes I would forget I was only here for four months and this wasn’t a city I’d lived in for years. Although this semester I shared an apartment with six roommates and certainly have much less personal space than I did in the fall, this experience has taught me to treasure my alone time even more.
My six roommates have definitely helped put into perspective how much I really have grown to enjoy hanging out with myself because sometimes, I am the only person whose advice or presence I can tolerate. I love sitting out on my balcony with my journal and my headphones, I love cooking alone and listening to my favorite podcast (right now it’s “National Parks After Dark”–highly recommend!), I love going for daily walks alone, getting bubble tea, and staring at the Acropolis. These are all things I also enjoy doing with my friends, but sometimes the only person whose company I want is my own.
I strongly believe that comfort can be found in solitude, and there’s a lot to think about if you are someone who is not comfortable being by yourself. Personally, I consider myself a good friend and someone fun to spend time with, so why shouldn’t I be that for myself? We are all our own worst critics, but we can also be our own biggest fans. In our society, we have been conditioned to think that it’s awkward or embarrassing to do things alone or, in general, to be alone, but I completely disagree. If you don’t enjoy spending time with yourself, how can you expect others to? I think it’s so important to be a person that you enjoy because when you love your own company, every day just becomes more fun and more meaningful. This week, I challenge you to do something for yourself, by yourself.