One of the aspects of college life that I have found most challenging is balancing between being an engaged community member and overwhelming my schedule and life. I find myself bouncing between feeling depleted and feeling like I am not doing enough. Over the two and a half years of my college experience, here are the questions I ask myself before saying yes to an opportunity.
- Does it align with my goals?
When I am debating between signing up for a new club or going to an event, I often think about whether or not doing so aligns with the person I want to become. It can be uncomfortable and overwhelming to go somewhere new, but these situations are often where we grow the most. If I am working towards building a bigger community, then I should go to events where I meet new people. If I am interested in a job field in the future, then I should accept a position that would give me experience within the field.
- Am I really tired or will going to the event energize me?
After classes, I often want to curl up in my apartment and never leave. I am always happy to be in bed early. However, going to sleep does not necessarily expand my social circle or create meaningful memories. The mid-day slump hits me very hard and it can be difficult to motivate myself to get up and go out. In the past, I would take my tiredness as an immediate sign to stay inside. Now, I see it as a way to evaluate. Sometimes an activity, like working out or going to a speaker event, will give me a second wave of energy that was not imaginable before.
Sometimes there will be an unexpected positive result of going out. For instance, I wanted to go to sleep early and skip a speaker event with Alyson Stoner, a child actor and now mental health advocate, hosted by SLU’s Great Issue Committee. I persevered and attended the event and ended up getting to meet Stoner and receive a signed book. Events can always seem long and monotonous, but you never know what will happen once you are there.
- Do I have a break in the day?
I am committed to having a break in almost all of my days. It is not sustainable for me to run around the whole day. I need some kind of alone time or recharging moment. However, I define breaks based on being something different than the rest of my day. For instance, on a day of studying, a break would be to socialize, but on a day of scheduled meetings and classes, alone time would be a break. Movement is a consistently important break for me. I often go on walks, take group workout classes or follow along with YouTube tutorials in my room. While I am not always motivated to move, afterwards I feel much better.
I can often feel guilty about turning down an invite, but sometimes I know that I will not be able to come and be present. It helps me to know my plan for the day and week ahead of time. This way, I can acknowledge what days will be full of energy and what days I can recharge and reset. I timeblock my week on the weekend so I can be prepared for the week ahead.
I am working on enjoying moments of rest and unscheduled time. I love sticking to a schedule and checking things off my to-do list. However, it is not realistic to always be productive and accomplish tasks. It is important to have unstructured time where you can relax.
These questions have all helped me reflect on what my schedule looks like. It is important to make the most of your time and stage in life. Participating in every activity does not mean you are making the most of your life. You can be busy and not enjoy any of the activities you are doing. It is crucial to spend your time doing things that spark joy and align with your goals and values.
Society puts a lot of pressure on everyone to go everywhere and say yes to every opportunity. Blindly saying yes to opportunities can often lead to burnout. I try to pick activities that genuinely interest me or can connect me with new groups of people.
After asking myself these questions, I can feel confident in my choices and not guilted by societal pressures.