Style isn’t always about how you present yourself to the world, it’s also who you choose to surround yourself with. It can be easy to fall into groups that feel comfortable but are toxic for you. Most times, people become friends because of proximity. You sat next to them in class, at an event, or you are both a part of the same club. Before you know it, you guys are always linking up and eating dinner together, and a friendship blossoms. Something important to realize is that a friendship goes both ways, and in order for it not be draining, both parties have to put in work. Life happens, and sometimes you cannot always be there, and if someone doesn’t understand that, maybe move separate ways.
Curating your circle takes time, trial and error, but that doesn’t mean withdrawal from all social interactions. Cutting people off, setting boundaries, and keeping your peace are all hard things, but they are also necessary a lot of the time. Here is how you to know if you need to audit your circle.
- Discussions are always one-sided and centered about the other party. Why is every conversation you have never about how both parties are doing? Why are they never interested in the endeavors or passions you have?
- When you are in their presence, especially in group settings, it feels like you are on the outside. Why does it feel like conversations are happening when you are not there? Why, when you enter the group setting everyone suddenly go silent? Go where you are welcomed and not brushed off.
- When something happens, no matter how big or small, it always seems like people are avoiding you. They may feel badly, but do not have good communication skills. Remember, if they wanted to, they would.
If you don’t like the way people in your circle are moving, don’t match their energy and don’t retaliate. Simply, sit back and watch how it unfolds. Don’t put your energy into the chaos. Simply go silent, focus on yourself and the positive relationships in your life. However, if you don’t like that option, here is another one: confront them, address the situation, and hear what they have to say about it. Don’t continuously put yourself in situations where you are going to be hurt in the end. Just like clothes, some people are here for a season in our lives; understand when that season comes to an end. Don’t hold on to an outfit that doesn’t fit anymore.