It’s your first week of college – a blurry mess of moving into your dorm, finding out where classes are, and orienting yourself in a new and overwhelming environment.
You get invited to hang out with a group of people from your dorm floor and somehow these random people you just met are now people you go everywhere with. The dining hall, the library, the grocery store and more.
But how can you tell if these people are ones who build you up and have your best interests at heart?
I believe these are qualities of valuable friendships that will fulfill your mind and heart during college.
They Communicate
On the surface this may be quite obvious, of course I’d want my friends to talk to me!
But communication goes deeper than this.
It is not just the funny moments or the deep conversations. It’s letting your friends know when you’re upset, not able to hang out, or simply not feeling like doing anything.
Instead of hiding these feelings from those that are closest to you, communication builds this trust and simple honesty. Without this communication, your friends’ lack of energy may feel personal, like they’re hiding things from you or they don’t want to hang out with you personally.
Communication solves this issue, and knowing that a friend is able to be transparent with you will give you that reassurance you need that they care.
They Always Consider Your Best Interests
When you really get to know your friends, you understand their limits, values, and goals in life. Friends should respect those boundaries and help you uphold them.
If they know that you care about your academics, then they will consider the time it takes for you to study and have fun with friends.
If they know that your ex-boyfriend will be at a party later and you want to maintain no-contact, then they will help you in maintaining that barrier between you and your ex.
Good friends will know when to look out for you and will understand the balance of your commitments.
Being The Joke vs. Being A part of the Joke
Some group dynamics may involve poking fun at each other and lightheartedly making jokes. However, there is a fine line between joking together and being the butt of the joke constantly.
Making sure that your friends are maintaining that healthy balance is crucial for healthy friendships and making sure that no resentment is built up from the jokes going too far.
They Initiate The Plans to Hang Out With You
Nothing says “I want to hang out with you” more than planning the hangout or asking when you are free next!
When someone initiates planning something with you, it is a clear sign that they want to be a presence in your life. Not only this, but committing to these plans and not being flaky shows that they prioritize the time they spend with you.
Good friends communicate their desire to be with you more often. And it doesn’t have to be elaborate or fancy get-togethers either! It’s as simple as getting food, sitting on a bench and talking, grocery shopping and much more.
Friends that care simply about the joy of spending time with you will be able to get happiness from the simple things that allow you to become closer.
You’re Happy When You’re With Them
No matter what, the key factor in determining whether your friend group is right for you is if they make you truly happy when you’re surrounded by them.
When you hang out with them, you feel you can be authentically yourself without judgement. Even at your weirdest, cringiest, embarrassing moments, good friends will still love you for all of that, and more.
It is that deep happiness that fills your heart with joy and makes you desire to hang out with them again and again. A happiness that makes you want to continue being their friend, and for them to continue being yours.
What is your friend group like? Let us know @HerCampusSJSU!