Fall of 2019, I started my adventure as a first-generation college student. With the spring semester of my first year coming to a close, I wrote out a list of the 5 important lessons I learned the hard way.
1. Ask for help when you need it
I cannot stress this enough. When you’re in a rough spot or situation and you don’t know what to do next, ask anyone for help. Professors, councilors, RAs, any upperclassmen are there and are willing to give you help or advice when you need it. Not asking and trying to figure it out yourself just adds more stress to a situation that could be solved quickly. There’s no shame in asking for help, and it’s something you’ll learn to involve in your everyday life.
2. Self-care is the most important
I never had much of an issue with self-care, I try my best not to indulge and do it when I really feel like it’s needed or as a reward for hard work. Once the pace picked up during finals, I realized that not only was I lacking in self-care, I was barely doing the minimum for taking care of my body and mental state in general. The chaos of finals and school work puts everyone on the back burner, but once it dies down and midterms or finals finish, the most important thing to do afterwards is recharge.
Getting back to a schedule where you’re putting your health first makes a huge difference for when life starts getting intense again. Remembering self-care and little indulgences keeps you motivated and excited to continue working hard. Whether it’s painting your nails, getting your priorities planned and organized, or buying a new outfit you’ve been wanting, it’s most important to keep yourself and your mental and physical health at the forefront as much as possible before, during and after stress.
3. Get out of your comfort zone even if it hurts
I enjoy being by myself. It allows me to be comfortable, and relaxed to my fullest potential, but it does get lonely after sometime. I didn’t feel the need to join a group, I was too scared and timid about approaching tables and trying to talk to members. One day, I decided to do it even though every alarm in my body was going off. Now that I’m a part of Her Campus, I get out more and try my best to talk to people. Small steps like these make you more comfortable in the new environment you’ve entered.
4. It’s okay to be home sick
I got and still do get homesick very quickly and often. Living on campus is exciting, you get a new sense of freedom living away from home but it’s also nerve wracking. I have the convenience of living only an hour and a half away from my hometown. I can visit family often or they can visit me, but I remember feeling guilty. Paying for on campus housing is expensive and leaving to visit home made me feel like I was wasting it, which now I’ve learned isn’t true. It’s okay to admit to being homesick, just like it’s okay to ask for help. Calling or visiting family and friends is okay, it doesn’t mean you’re not doing well. You need the support from those who you care about the most. It’s not weak or a waste; it’s important for your personal well-being.
5. Failure is inevitable, accept it and move on.
This was probably the hardest lesson for me to learn. Failure used to mean weakness to me, if I failed it meant I wasn’t trying hard enough and I was letting everyone down because of it. Now I’ve realized that it’s just not true. Failure is inevitable, you’re going to fail in something at least once, but it’s not the end of the world. It’ll hurt, and you’ll beat yourself up over it, but you can’t get caught up in it. You have to learn how to accept it and appreciate any effort you put in, whether it was a test or an assignment, you still managed to try, and you’ll learn what you need to do next time to help yourself. Accepting failure is difficult but valuable when you learn and grow from it.
I hope these tips can help you on your college adventure or just through life in general!