The truth is, I am struggling with the feeling of being stuck in a rut. I’ve been looking for some guidance or an answer of when I may no longer feel this way. So, after mulling over my feelings, I’ve learned that we’re never truly alone in our struggles, even if it seems that way. And, if other folks tell us to get over it, or that our experiences aren’t valid, then perhaps they don’t want to confront if they too may be stuck. We all have the potential to feel stuck at times, and my own struggle with this has taught me that facing this head on, instead of avoiding it, makes the ride out of the rut so much smoother. That’s why I’m sharing some of the practices I’ve found useful. Here’s what I’ve tried:
1. Know your worth
If you’re feeling stuck, it’s likely that you might feel invisible or taken for granted in some aspect of your life. If stuckness is nagging you, you might feel that you’re not being challenged. Or alternately, the complexity of your troubles may be overwhelming. Your value is inherent in the fact that you are a human being doing your best. There is nothing you need to do—past, present, or future—to make yourself worthier. And if you’re still not convinced, ask your five-year-old self if they would still love themselves just as they are right now. I’m pretty sure they’ll agree with me that you, my dear, are priceless.
2. Speak up
No matter how tempting it is to bottle up unnerving feelings, it can be restorative to speak our truth. It may seem counterintuitive to navigate through the cloudiness of disorientation by expressing yourself, but it often helps—even if it feels awkward at first. Depending on the day, journaling, singing my favorite songs, talking to a parent or another person who loves me unconditionally, texting with a trusted friend, meeting with a therapist, or drawing have been like a magic healing elixir for my feelings of stuckness.
3. Get Moving
The last thing I want to do when I desire to crawl under the covers and hide is move, but it’s one of the fastest and most effective ways to create clarity. I go for a walk, do yoga, dance to Beyoncé, and clean my dorm room like it’s my job when I feel overly stressed. It might be tempting to avoid it, but I promise you won’t be sorry.
4. Say “No”
Taking opportunities to say no more, delegating projects when possible, and choosing to help people with things they truly need my specific help for, and supporting them with resources has cleared a lot more space in my life for reflection about what really matters and time for self-care. This may seem like a daunting task at first, but you will thank yourself afterwards!
5. Read up
There are resources out there, and you’re not alone. Here’s my short list of books that can help you through your journey, one page at a time:
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck
The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte
Constructive Wallowing by Tina Gilbertson
These are just a few tools that have helped me find a renewed sense of freedom! I hope they’ll be useful for you, too.