Here is a letter, to the best friend who continues to show me how to let your flaws make you flawless.
You showed me that even though we are born into this world in the most authentic form, our authenticity is constantly threatened. The amount of times I’ve been told to “be myself” has just exhausted the expression to the point that I don’t even know what it means. After observing you, I’ve learned that being yourself has become a collection of choices that we make every day.
I want to thank you, for letting me admire your quest to be yourself. Moving from being passive, a people-pleaser, and constantly fearing judgement, into an individual who is rooted in her beliefs, and even enjoys being challenged. Every conversation about finding your passion, pursuing your interests, and acknowledging what makes you happy, has let everyone around you grow to desire to do the same.
There was a constant cloud of worry that hung over your head. It’s one that still hangs over mine and many others today. For years, you wore many hats, and masks, as you changed yourself into what everyone expected you to be.
But that’s something many of us are increasingly doing today. Take social media, it’s a tool that allows everyone to construct the perfectm synthetic narratives of themselves. It’s easier to be an artificial version of yourself that brings security, rather than something threatening. Whether it’s worrying if our eyebrows are “on fleek”, or your lips are plump. It could be if you’re following the latest diet or fitness trend, if you’ve chosen the right major or the path that others want you to take (or whatever else pop-culture yells at us to be).
To me, authenticity is not about focusing being yourself, but it’s about combating what makes you want to stray away from yourself. I found myself becoming inauthentic so I went on a pursuit to emulate that same authentic essence you do. Letting yourself constantly be altered by individuals, advertisements, and the beauty and fashion industry is only doing a disservice to yourself. I’ve come to know that it’s harder to be yourself, than an ideal self that others perceive of you. Thank you for showing me that it’s possible to change.
I’m proud. Proud that you managed to take every assumption that you didn’t like about yourself, and throw them out the door. You’ve always told me that to truly be beautiful, you must acknowledge the “Be” and “You” in the phrase. The ability to demonstrate genuine confidence in everything you do, will forever be refreshing. Instead of letting your personality be shaped by those around, you’ve become so secure in your skin.
I’ve realized the thing about being authentic is that it seems uncomfortable. Why is that it’s more comforting to appear as something that you’re not? With every friendship, every task, and every thought that leaves your mouth, I can tell that you still wage a continuous battle to constantly question if your intensions are true. It’s an uplifting quality that I hope to grasp one day.
Thank you for showing me that people can conform to their own stands, rather than those set by society or dominant ideals. Sticking to the status quo is not what makes you a genuine or a good individual. I wish for everyone to escape the ignorance of the shape shifting armour they wear. Instead, swallow and digest your truths in hopes that they’ll continuously inspire you to – just be you.